The Switch
by princesshyuuga01
Summary: "I think I broke your—," he struggled to find the right words to refer to THAT part of her anatomy "—your flower. It's bleeding. But I swear I wasn't probing it with my fingers," Sasuke added in his defense, brown eyes lowering. Tenten's black orbs burned amber like a coal pit set aflame. Neji was confused, Tenten has a boner and Sasuke is ovulating? What the fuck? SasuTen/NejiTen
1. Wear Me Well

**The Switch**

**Chapter** **One – Wear Me Well**

**AN: Out of complete and utter boredom this idea came to mind. I'm unsure of the eventual pairing but its a race between SasuTen and NejiTen, I'll let you decide. I am down for whatever.**

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><p>The Alarm went off at 6:30a.m.<p>

A ray of sunlight stole through the window slit and placed a tender kiss upon Tenten's creamy cheek. Yawning, the brunette stretched out on her four post bed and heaved a sigh of frustration. She found herself wondering which asshole came up with the concept of schools. As she would very much like to dig up his grave and plant a bullet through his decaying skull. School was such a drag, she thought, borrowing Shikamaru's signature epigram.

Removing the comforter from her strangely aching body, she swung her legs to the edge of the bed and she sat up rubbing her eyes. Frowning, she regarded the day to come. Like any other, she imagined it to be hectic and drama packed, especially since she was such close friends with the school's two biggest drama queens.

Any day spent with Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino promised to be a new experience. However, this morning was different; she couldn't elude the feeling that something ominously bizarre setting on the horizon. That rush of adrenaline surging through her veins did nothing to aid in freeing herself of the feeling either.

But she couldn't just wait around for whatever it was to come catch her in her night gown could she?

Maybe she could.

Peering around the room she panicked when the reality hit her—this was not her room. And there weren't any rooms in her house that resembled this one—not in the least bit. The regal decor gave her the impression that she was in the presence of royalty.

The charming furniture and fancy wallpaper was all the more confirmation that she had indeed strayed into foreign territory.

While relentlessly scanning the room for some sort of clue as to where she was, she stumbled upon a photograph bordered by a bronze frame, adorning one of night tables. She slowly took it up and studied the face of the teen—flawless skin, a perfectly chiselled facial structure, thin lips, mesmerising dark eyes flaunted an expression which furrowed his brows that was nothing short of annoyance. She knew that signature glare anywhere.

But how in the world had she ended up in here?

The picture frame slid from her hands and met its noisy demise on floor a few seconds later, disturbing the silence that seemed to engulf the whole building. She clasped her hands over her mouth to stop the imminent scream that threatened to escape her. It was to no avail, a small whimper sounding somewhat like a whine laced through the air.

"What am I doing here?" she asked herself, momentarily startled by the huskiness of her tone. A number of responses came to mind but they all proved to be illogical—mostly disturbing. The last thing she remembered was watching a sappy romantic comedy then falling asleep. She stared blankly at the broken bits of glass on the floor and wondered if it would be too much to ask for the ground to just open up and swallow her whole.

Her head suddenly shifted to the direction of the door where she heard shuffling on the other side. Her stomach somersaulted—and not in the least bit pleasantly. She felt the frantic rush of her blood gushing towards her failing heart. It skipped more than a couple beats when the smooth baritone beyond the door began to shout.

"Sasuke!" The pounding on the door seem to match the unsteadying beating of her heart. "Sasuke!"

Oh fuck.

She chewed on her bottom lip—a habit brought on by nervousness. How in the world would she explain her mysterious presence in the Uchiha household without raising some sort of obscene suspicion?

"Sasuke get your lazy butt up!" the voice roared.

Scanning the room for another way out—obviously the door was out of the question—she gulped as the window appeared to be safest bet. Hoping that it wouldn't be a long way down, Tenten made her way across the room, glancing back to see if the door had opened.

A million thoughts came to mind as to why a girl would be climbing through the window of a boy's bedroom in the wee hours of the morning. Her already flushed skin went florid at the all the possible implications that any passing spectator may conjure up at the sight.

She shoved it aside, needing to escape.

After taking a decisive breath Tenten slid up the sapele bordered glass window, threw one of her aching legs over the ledge and—

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?"

She flinched, cursing her cruel, twisted fate. Then slowly she turned around to meet the glare of a very irritated older Uchiha. His eye brows arched up at the sight of her and she couldn't help but feel exposed under his careful scrutiny. Those calm, absorbing dark pools sported mild amusement as he watched the baffled lass fumble with words to explain her presence in the Uchiha household.

"I uh...woke up—and I uh... I was at home when—I uh..." with every slurred group of what seemed to be random words, his grin grew wider. Finally she threw up her hands in defeat and declared, "It's not what you think," it was a desperate attempt to savage what was left of her pride, but it seemed to have done little to no justice on her part.

"No?" he asked closing the door behind him.

She bit down on her bottom lip and shook her head foolishly.

"You slept out?" It was a question but it came out as a statement.

"I did no such thing," she snapped.

"Is that so?" Itachi asked in his deep smooth baritone. "Imagine all the trouble you'd get into if I were to tell on you?"

She didn't know if it was an attempt at humour or a threat but she begged regardless. "Please don't mention this anyone."

"Feeling guilty?" he gave her a knowing look; she had the strangest feeling that he got a kick out of embarrassing her.

Tenten knew that her parents would be furious if they found out that she slept out. But they'd probably be close to homicidal if they learned that it had been at a boy's house. There was no pardon for such an adolescence breech—they'd ground her for life. Then there was the matter of how she'd get inside her house without raising suspicion from her parents? That's if they hadn't already discovered her disappearance and plotted to ship her off to boarding school.

She had been walking on chalk line with them as of late. Who knew when they were going to deem another slip-up as the last straw and got rid of her? This was probably the last straw, she thought grimly.

It was impossible to come up with a logical explanation as to why she woke up in Sasuke's bed. After all they weren't even friends. Their paths occasionally crossed at school, since they were both friends with Neji Hyuuga, but they never exchanged more than empty glances.

"Are you just going to stand there? Or are you going to get ready for school?" Itachi grated. "I have a life to attend to."

Tenten swallowed once, her body rigid. Finally recovering enough presence of mind she asked the arrogant Uchiha what he was talking about. He couldn't possibly be offering to take her to school? Was this some sort of joke?

Itachi was never the patient type; she had to learn that the hard way at school. "So the brat finally knocks up a chick and feels he can be smart with me," he mumbled.

Tenten's face gradually morphed through every possible shade of red, each one brighter than the last. "You don't know anything," she blinked continuously, unable dismiss the teasing way his eyes hovered over her face.

She had no idea if his words held any truth to it but what else count account for her aching form and _at ease_ feeling? Did she and Sasuke—

Tenten couldn't even bring herself to think like that.

Itachi grinned at her expression and pointed one of his long sinewy fingers at her, "What I do know is that if you aren't ready by the time I've had breakfast, I'm leaving with or without you."

The raven haired male made his way across the room then the door slammed behind him. Tenten breathed a sigh of relief, releasing the breath she had been holding. To her surprise the door opened once more and Itachi stuck his beautiful head inside.

"And Sasuke..." he looked directly at her, "I'd do something about that flushed look on my face if I were you. It might raise speculations at the table," he snickered then closed the door once more.

Did he just call her Sasuke?

Tenten did a double take.

No, Sasuke wasn't in the room.

Thank heavens for that, she would prefer to have her walk of shame unimpeded.

Upon his departure the brunette sprang into action—heading towards the window once more. She slid one leg over the ledge and shrieked. She tumbled back inside the room staring down at the pair of legs that she was sure she didn't own. Her gaze travelled along the length of her muscular legs to the pair of blue boxers she wore—she didn't own those either.

Rubbing her eyes she lifted one of her very masculine legs to confirm that she had not been hallucinating.

Those things couldn't possibly be hers could they? If her memory served right, she had shaved her legs two days ago; surely the hair wouldn't have sprouted overnight.

Tenten was growing more panicky as the seconds rolled by. Nothing seemed to add up.

She turned around to further scrutinize the room for any clue as to what might have happened last night. There was no broken lampshade, the bed was immaculate safe for where she slept and there was no condom wrapper on the floor.

So she hadn't bumped uglies with Uchiha Sasuke last night?

It was a comforting discovery.

But it was when she stumbled upon her reflection that she gaped. Looking back at her was a pair of onyx eyes were brown ones were suppose to be.

It all happened in a series of facial, muscle twitching. First came the widening of her eyes and the twitching of her eyebrows then came the slight parting of her lips that eventually turned into a gape. Then the stillness of the morning gradually became non-existent as the piercing sound of her shrieks; or rather— Sasuke's shrieks filled the silence.

OoOoOoO

A few blocks away similar shrieks could be heard, as Sasuke himself woke up and made the dreadful discovery. He looked himself over and over again in the mirror in an attempt to certain that he wasn't being delusive. Where he was accustomed to seeing charcoal eyes now resided big, doe-like chocolate coloured orbs. Swearing, he knitted his brows at his unruly, auburn curls. They literally fell all over the place. There's a reason things like scissors and salons were invented, he brooded to himself.

Things like these didn't happen in real life, however, Sasuke tried to rationalize with himself. He was having a nightmare. That had to be the case, which meant that all he needed to do was find a way to wake himself up right?

But pinching the delicate skin that has now become his own proved to be painful, along with the other options he decided to explore, such as hitting his head against the bed post.

Yielding to frustration he growled aloud and knocking over a few items on her mahogany dresser. Seconds later there was mild pounding on the door. Apparently he had cooked up quite a ruckus in the quiet house.

"Is everything alright in there?" came the muffled voice of what sounded like an elderly lady.

"I'm fine," he snarled looking disdainfully around the rather dull room. Then again he thought to himself, people's room did define the type of person that they were and Tenten was no different from her room—plain.

"Are you sure?"

"Damn it, I said I was fine," he gave out while pouncing about the room trying to make sense of the predicament that he was in. Thinking better than to tarnish Tenten's name he apologized and scrambled to the door when he heard the door knob turning. "I'm not decent," he declared ,squirming at the fact that he wasn't.

With his back pressed against the door he stared at himself in the mirror once more. He made another go at coming up with a plausible rationale as to why he was in Tenten's body but he ended up nil.

He studied the lacy bodice of her nightgown and could feel the heat rise to his cheeks at the way it seemed to put emphasis on her bust. It dipped low enough for him to see the creamy skin at the swell of her bosom and ended soon enough for him get a tempting glance at her long slender legs. In his opinion the damn thing hugged her curves too well. The blasted thing was practically see-through.

For a moment he fought with the urge to continue gawking at himself but at the thought that Tenten might be doing the same thing to his body at this very moment, he looked away.

Panic caught in his throat at the idea of someone besides him parading in his body. It was even harder to cope with the fact that the masquerader might be a female. That's if Tenten was even in his body. Who knows? Everyone could have been switched around. But he could bet tomatoes on it that the brunette had stolen his body. She had always been a fan of fortune-telling and all that witchy shit. He wouldn't put it past her.

What kind of stun was the damn brat trying to pull, he asked him.

Although he wasn't sure she had anything to do with this trickery—it was beyond her scope of craziness—someone had to shoulder the blame and he sure as hell wouldn't play the scapegoat.

"I'm making bouillon for breakfast," and with that said the shuffling by the door faded into the sound of drowning footsteps.

Bouillon...he hated that shit—that was peasants' food. He, Uchiha Sasuke would be caught dead drinking the same garbage he was sure they fed to Oliver Twist. He remembered reading the book in literature class and taking an instantaneous dislike to it.

Sasuke eased himself from the door and flung his fragile frame lazily on the bed. He squirmed when he heard the mattress squeaked beneath him and he wondered what his next move would be. Surely he couldn't go to school like this.

The ringing of Tenten's cell disrupted his already disturbed thoughts. Without really thinking he anxiously went in search of the small communicating device. He found the pink gadget beneath one of the pillows and snatched it up mindful of the fact the incoming call was from his phone.

He didn't recall ever giving her his cell number. The fact that his contact picture was a red-faced bull with two horns did not surprise him in the least.

"Sasuke?" asked the voice from the other end of the line—his voice.

If he were a lesser person the phone would probably have slid from his hand at the sound of his own voice addressing him. "Yes," he answered firmly.

"What is going on?" his voice demanded, this time he shivered slightly—slightly!

"How would I know?" he snapped.

"I want my body back!" his angry ex-voice bellowed in his ears.

"Then why don't you come and get it?" Sasuke asked, surprised at how natural it felt to put his hand on his hip and snarl. It must be a female thing.

"I just might!"

Irrational as always, that was the Neji-obsessed fangirl for you.

"I was being sarcastic stupid," he told her flatly, gazing down at her neatly painted purple toenails. He almost choked at the piece of gold jewellery embedded in the flesh at her navel.

There was an irritated sigh from Tenten's end of the line. "There's no room for humour."

"Indeed there isn't," he agreed remotely distant. Before he had the chance to stop himself he asked, "You pierced your navel?"

Tenten's end of the line was silent for a minute before she answered testily. "So?"

"Look, I'm not exactly thrilled about being trap inside your wimpy little body..." Sasuke was saying before Tenten interjected.

"I wouldn't exactly call waking up as the borderline between the living and the dead a riveting experience either," she said defensively. "But I'm sure that I can pull off being a complete waste of space for a day or two."

Sasuke arched an eyebrow, "Of course you'd be able to play the part really well; since it's the role you play every day," he came back.

The line went dead and Sasuke congratulated himself on a job well done. But school started in an hour and they had to come up with a plan before then. Almost reluctantly he dialled his number and marvelled at how easily he was taking to the situation.

"What?" his voice barked at him when Tenten finally decided to pick up.

"I was being rebellious," he admitted frankly. "But you started it," his only substitute for apologising—blaming the other party. Looking at his watch he said urgently, "Itachi will be leaving soon, you have to get ready."

"What do you mean get ready? We can't go to school like this."

"Then I'd like to think that you have a better solution?" he grated.

Tenten was silent for awhile until she sighed out of defeat. "I think this is a bad idea."

"And my offer still stands; do you have a better idea?" Sasuke growled. When he heard nothing from Tenten's end of the conversation he cleared his throat and ushered her to go before his brother left. "Meet me in the library at school."

"Wait...where are you going?" Tenten suddenly demanded as if she sensed something amidst.

What kind of question is that? Sasuke asked himself. "I'm going to shower and get dressed." But as soon as the words left his mouth he realized that they didn't sound as normal as they would have if he were in his own body.

"What?" came Tenten's hysterical shriek. "You can't do that; I will not have you touching me!"

Irritated and slightly embarrassed the he scoffed but managed to sound calm and jeering, "Technically I'd be touching me."

"Well I can just bet that you're enjoying yourself," she said miserably. "Well I'm not showering," he didn't need to see her face to know that she wore a grimace.

"You can't abandon my personal hygiene Tenten," there was a menacing tinge to his voice.

"You can't be putting your hands all over my body, that's sexual harassment."

Sasuke tried to suppress a chuckle but it came out anyway—gaiety and giggly, "I can't just go to school and not shower!"

"I do not wish to see you that close and personal," she said—adamantly stubborn. "And I don't want you to see me either."

"Do you get a kick out of smelling like a pig?" his meagre supply of patience was running on reserves with the immature little twit.

"I'm not touching yours; that is disgusting. And it's only fair that you refrain from going on any of your curious exploration of my body. I find it appalling."

"If I get ready now, it'll give me at least half an hour."

"Half an hour for what?" Tenten inquired.

"For me to come over there and bathe you myself," he answered with dead seriousness.

"No!" she gave out again. "You can't do that either."

"Then you really ought to run along," he suggested. "And Tenten..."

"What?" she barked.

"Wear Me Well."

**Chapter Two Preview**

She had stubbornly kept her eyes closed while she soaped her broad shoulders and chest, not wishing to see any of Sasuke's bodily assets. And she referred to them as assets because well—surely he didn't acquire so many fangirls with that pretty face of his alone; though an extremely pretty face it was indeed. Somewhere between the lines of reality and unreality, she forgot about being in his body and attempted to wash between her thighs, and that was when it **hit** her—literally

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><p><strong>AN: Rated M for potentially awkward scenes. But nothing to make you wanna puke, I promise. Thanks for reading. Reviews make my day!**


	2. The Lust

**The Switch**

**Chapter Two – The Lust**

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Naruto, but that's so obvious isn't it?**

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><p>Tenten literally rushed out of the shower—heart racing, shallow breathing and a face red enough to rival the colour of chilli peppers. Never in her life had she ever taken such a quick shower. But she just simply couldn't handle it. At least, she thought she could have survived a few minutes but then her curious eyes mysteriously wandered downwards and—<p>

"Oh dear," was the only thing that had escaped her lips.

She had stubbornly kept her eyes closed while she soaped her broad shoulders and chest not wishing to see any of Sasuke's bodily assets. And she referred to them as assets because well...surely he didn't acquire so many fangirls with that pretty face of his alone; though an extremely pretty face it was indeed.

Somewhere between the lines of reality and unreality, she forgot about being in his body and attempted to wash between her thighs, and that was when it **hit** her—literally. The weight of it against her wrist sent her eyes flying open. There was a muffled shriek before she shuddered and her hand retreated to her sides.

Dressing had been a series of awkward events as well. Goose bumps had filled her skin while she tried the concentrate the bulge into a comfortable position in her boxers. It was utterly disgusting having to look at the damn thing, let alone touch it. After easily getting a blue T-shirt over her shoulders, she slid into a pair of black skinny jeans, stuck her feet in a pair of white socks and sneakers, retrieved Sasuke's knapsack then headed downstairs in the search of the kitchen.

Not much could be done about his chicken butt hair.

The flushness of her cheek hadn't paled when she stumbled upon the Uchihas having breakfast, in particularly Itachi long ebony tresses were neatly caught in a loose ponytail in the back and his equally dark orbs fixed or perhaps glaring at his meal. He represented contrasting radiance; his dark features complemented his pale skin. There had to be a law against looking that good, Tenten thought.

But judging from the scalding onceover that he gave her, they'd be a law against taking such a **good** look at him.

She would have giggled, except she was too preoccupied with gawking at the way he ate his cereal—such masculine elegance. His movements were fluid, like he was dancing to music only he could hear. Quite intrigued she watched as his spoon journeyed from his bowl to his thin lips, they seemed to do so in a prolonged manner—as if in slow motion.

Damn it Tenten what's so captivating about watching him eat cereal?

"Is there something the matter Sasuke?" his father asked, jolting her from her state of enthrallment.

Shaking her head and sighing, she reluctantly sat down at the dining table, mindful of the three pairs of onyx orbs keeping her under careful scrutiny.

"Good morning," she mumbled—what was good about the morning?

Breakfast was relatively quiet, except for Mrs. Uchiha's polite attempt to start conversations. These were immediately discouraged by lack of enthusiasm and participation from the rest of the family. Finally surrendering, she resorted to listening to the idle chatter between the eldest Uchiha and his father. Every once in a while Itachi would smirk at her—or rather, Sasuke. But she presumed it had everything to do with the fact that he thought Sasuke had sneaked out to shack up with some hoe last night.

Did that happen often?

But Tenten found grave difficultly in willing her knees to stay solid and not turn to jelly every time Itachi's penetrating gaze fell upon her? Frankly she'd much rather bask in the glory of acquiring his attention _(do you know how many girls would kill to have him look at them?),_ though she had to refrain from it, for the sake of her cover.

It was mighty pathetic however, that the first time she went under the curious scrutiny of a boy, he turned out to be her brother! Sasuke's brother—she corrected herself. And the most obvious fact being she was now a dude.

"Would you like some more scrambles eggs sweetheart?" Mrs. Uchiha asked, having noticed how quickly Sasuke's plate went empty.

"Thanks Sasuke's mom," she answered, helping herself to another serving of scrambled eggs without having realized what she had said.

Silence screeched.

They stared at her.

Half-way between snatching up another pancake she remembered her current plight and muttered, "I meant...hn," she added the duo's _(Sasuke and Neji)_ signature way of communicating, accentuating it with a casual shrug of the shoulders.

It amazed her how they both boys could build an entire conversation around _hns_. Honestly, how did they understand each other? Because if you minus the occasional, 'Hyuuga' or 'Uchiha' all that you would be left with were _'hns'_.

They continued to stare at her oddly, except for Itachi, he seemed amused.

"Hn," she tried again. This time it sounded more convincing—more Sasuke-like.

"Quite an appetite you've got Sasuke," Sasuke's father noted.

"After all that extra-co-curricular activity what'd you expect?" Itachi volunteered with a knowing look on his face.

Tenten flushed, the older Uchiha was by no means trying to cover up what he really meant. She realized then, that her stay wasn't going to be a walk in the park. Her devastatingly handsome brother would make certain of that.

Fugaku grinned and patted Sasuke roughly on the back; the force of it almost had Tenten swallowing her spoon. "Captain of the football team..." he said proudly rubbing his back. "That's my boy."

At this Itachi scoffed.

Tsk sibling rivalry, Tenten thought gruffly.

"In his days, Itachi had been both the captain of the soccer and football team," Fugaku was telling her.

She was sure Sasuke had heard this a lot, perhaps too many times. But Tenten turned to Itachi in silent admiration. It takes hard work and dedication to pull off something like that, what with season clashes and school work. "Class president, valedictorian—" he continued but was intercepted.

"—Honey, Sasuke and Itachi have very different goals," their mother commented grudgingly.

It wasn't long before it became blatantly clear that favouritism existed within the Uchiha household. The father clearly worshipped the ground Itachi walked on and—well, being the youngest; Sasuke was bound to be mommy's baby. The whole idea had her fighting the urge to hurl over and die of laughter.

"I'm simply saying that Sasuke could take a leaf out of Itachi's book," Fugaku argued, inducing the already overly confident Uchiha teen.

"You were praising him just now!"

"He could do much better if he spent less time slacking off."

"I agree," Itachi coughed.

Tenten didn't know what to make of the argument, so she resorted to frowning, pretty sure Sasuke would have done the same thing. She couldn't imagine the horror of constantly walking within the shadows of a sibling. And it still wouldn't matter if Sasuke accomplished all that Itachi had, because in the end, the fact still remains that Itachi did them first.

"He can't be the soccer team captain, Hyuuga Neji holds that position and might I add he's doing a superb job. He's a fine young man, that Hyuuga boy!" Mrs. Uchiha spoke with pride as though she were speaking about one of her own. But even Tenten knew it was said to further infuriate the Uchiha head.

She blushed at the mention of boy who held her heart captive's name—Hyuuga Neji a fine boy indeed; he was an even finer catch. But when it came to her, he spelt **not a chance in hell**.

Guys like Neji were rare, so they were allowed to be picky, with reason. And judging from his previous affiliations, he seemed to go for cheerleaders—notably blondes. This small fact plagued her when she had realized the trend. She was nowhere near slender or flexible enough to be a cheerleader and unless she was colour-blind, she wasn't blonde. Problem found, could it possibly be solved?

Perhaps being in Sasuke's body could offer a little assistance now that she wouldn't have to admire from afar. Maybe she could even coax Neji into a date with her. She silenced her stalkerish thoughts.

Having been inside the Uchiha residence, she was beginning to believe that guys like Neji weren't totally extinct after all. Itachi could give him a run for his money in every department. And Sasuke was as pleasing to the eye-sight as he was an asshole. And that's really saying something because the young Uchiha was an absolute dick.

But Sasuke too, like Neji tended to go for the usual high school clichés...cheerleaders, vapid, blondes, shallow, dense, blondes, to name a few. When has the brainy brunette from the archery club ever gotten the guy? Never.

And a shot with Itachi was beyond far-fetched, surely you don't expect Itachi—the high-school grad, double major, university student and Konoha's heart-throb to look in the direction of a high school brat.

"And that's another thing, you're obvious appreciation for anything Hyuuga," Mr. Uchiha fumed. "It's preposterous!"

"Just because yourself and Hiashi have unresolved issues, doesn't mean that the kids ought to promote this ridiculous family feud as well," the female head said sternly.

"That'll be our cue," Itachi told her and got up with Tenten following closely behind.

After they were both clear out of the grownup's earshot Itachi turned to her, "So who was she?" he asked with a devilish glint in his dark eyes.

"S-she?" Tenten stuttered, quite confused but more giddy underneath his gaze.

Itachi raised his index finger at her accusingly then said smugly, "Her."

For a second or two she just stared back at him. That was, until her eyes drifted to Sasuke's reflection in a mirror situated on the wall in the hallway. It was then that she saw what Itachi was pointing to.

She didn't remember putting that there, at least she hope she didn't. Nonsense! Surely she'd remember if she had branded the Uchiha with a hickey.

Tenten swallowed, staring at the blemish which stood out on the pale flesh of her neck. "Her?" she asked, for some reason her mouth kept moving but her mind went dead.

"I know that's not a soccer injury," Itachi elevated a dark brown then smirked. "Sasuke you have some explaining to do."

Without thinking she said, "Believe me he does."

OoOoOoOo

Regardless of his seventeen years Uchiha Sasuke was **very** familiar with the female anatomy. In fact, he had seen a great deal of it before he had hit puberty at the tender age of thirteen, all thanks to the girlfriend of his brother at the time. But that was a story for another time.

Really...there had been no need to scoff or do silly things such as close his eyes while he showered. Sasuke was beyond that. He resisted the urge to chuckle—or more accurately—giggle, at the thought that Tenten probably did squirm and shudder while she took care of the essentials.

Such naivety was often seen as a nuisance to but as much as Sasuke hated to admit it, this time around, it was sort of cute. Another thing that he wouldn't admit, not even to himself, was that whatever Tenten didn't have in features she definitely made up for it in structure. Long legs, high chest, broad hips, narrow waist, and sufficient junk in the trunk—pity if she wasn't such a know-it-all he would've rated her above a five.

The childlike eyes fell upon him again and he couldn't help but noticed the fine bone structure which has become his own. She had nice skin, clean and tanned to bring out the colour of her eyes. She hadn't bad lips either—plumped and pink they looked almost enticing; operative word being **almost**. After tucking behind his ears the loose, wet, chestnut strands which stuck to his face, he wrapped himself in a towel and drew his gaze away from his reflection, oddly to his dismay.

Upon retreating to Tenten's bedroom he groaned along with his stomach. He was absolutely famished. By the time he had finished rummaging through her closet for something he deemed feminine, Sasuke was depressed. Silently he wondered if she shopped in the boy's section. The damn girl didn't own a single piece of girlish garment, besides underwear. The vast array of them which he stumbled upon inside one of her draws had stimulated his interest.

He was almost certain it wasn't normal behaviour to examine one's under things so keenly, the girl that bombarded into the room a few seconds after he had picked up the third item certainly didn't think so either.

"Ten!" she gasped, her almond shaped grey eyes sparked with something halfway between amusement and bewilderment. "What are you doing?" her voice piped, tilting her blonde head to one side.

Shoving back the piece of clothing in the draw Sasuke closed it and turned to his most unwelcomed guest. "Haven't you heard of knocking?" he glowered.

She blinked, probably taken aback by the terseness. "Good morning to you too."

"Hn," he grunted indifferently.

She continued to stare, "Are you alright?"

He scoffed, "Why wouldn't I be?"

She bit a finger as though in deep thought, "Well for one, I caught you staring at your underwear as though they were some alien device to be used in the apocalypse."

Slightly amused he had to ask, "Is that so?" Not expecting a response because clearly it was meant to be a rhetorical question he asked seriously, "Don't I have any other type of clothing?" he grimaced at the thought of the closet packed with t-shirts and baggy jeans.

Arguably he should feel comfortable wearing just that, but he didn't wear jeans twice his size. Nor did he buy clothes that were torn. It was just dumb. Why would he pay the same amount of money for a perfectly intact pair of jeans that he would for something that looked as though it had already been worn? And he wouldn't start ranting about those ridiculous logos imprinted on her shirts, _'go green and keep the swag clean'._ Three words came to mind; what—the—fuck?

"You could always raid my closet if you like," the girl suggested, studying _**Tenten**_closely.

He really didn't need to care what he wore to school, he was going as Tenten and she obviously didn't care, judging from her wardrobe. Regardless, he gave her a curt nod of the head and followed behind as she led the way to what seemed to be her room. If not anything else, curiosity had influenced his decision. Drawing the towel even closer around himself, he scanned the nameless girl's room. It was adorned with pictures of herself and Tenten. Smirking at a picture of the brunette and the said girl sticking their tongues out, he wondered what affiliation they shared.

He remembered the days when he and Itachi had been close. But their parents had unconsciously driven a wedge between them with their constant comparison of their accomplishments. Now every time he looked at Itachi he felt nothing but resentment and perhaps even envy.

"What's the occasion sis?" the girl asked, opening her closet then stepping aside to let him take a look inside. His interest peaked, until she opened her mouth to speak again. "Have you finally decided to take my advice on Neji," she grinned.

Sasuke choked.

"Sometimes a girl has to make the first move," she said, pulling a baby blue tank top from her closet, waiting for Sasuke's approval.

He shook his head. "What about Neji?" he asked impatiently.

She giggled, mindful of the death glare aimed in her direction, "When are you never in the mood to talk about Neji?"

"Right now," Sasuke cringed, waving off another top she suggested. He had always suspected that Tenten harbour feelings for his friend. He didn't care to point it out to the clueless Hyuuga, simply because Neji never showed any particular interest. Besides, it was probably in both their interests if they stuck to persons of the same social status.

"I overheard some girls saying that Yamanaka Ino is on the hunt," her voice dropped. "And Neji's her new target. But having been turned down by Sasuke so many times, you'd have thought she learnt her lesson."

"Hn," the mention of Ino's name initiated a migraine.

She shot _**Tenten**_ a coy look, "That Uchiha Sasuke is quite an eye candy as well," she chuckled. "It's a wonder he manages to stay single."

At this he smirked.

Tsk cocky bastard.

She held out a purple spaghetti-strapped dress, for a moment Sasuke's eyes gleamed but as soon as the glint had surfaced it dispersed. Assuming that meant approval she laid the dress on the bed and went to fetch appropriate footwear.

After stealing a quick glance at her rear while she stooped, he offered, "I presume he has better things to do with his time than engage in meaningless relationships," Sasuke couldn't resist the urge to gloat.

At this she gave up her pursuit and stood, "At first I thought it was just me, but something's very off about you this morning Ten," she pointed a finger at the brunette.

He arched a brow, "Hn."

"Because I clearly remember you saying Sasuke was the biggest asshole you knew."

The temperature in the room dropped. His features darkened and without thinking he asked, "She said that?"

Well then, he thought to himself, I'll show you how much an asshole I can be when you turn up to school wearing a chicken costume.

OoOoOoOo

Itachi's car came to a screeching halt at the school's entrance. If he could have, without having to face the wrath of his parents later, he probably would have kicked her out of the car—flat on her face.

"Have a nice day to you too, asshole!" she scowled as Itachi's car sped off once more. Behind her, she heard a few gasps, a few sighs and—she winced—quite a few squeals. Right on cue, she thought with a shudder, in came the dreaded fangirls.

"Uchiha-san!"

"Sasuke-kun!"

She narrowed her eyes at two of them in particular, Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino—founder and co-founder of the WFLSU. That's short for_**We Fucking Love Sasuke Uchiha**_. Those girls took their religion—i.e. fangirlism—very seriously. Honestly, if they had a shrine dedicated to him, she wouldn't be surprised. Their infatuation with the boy had been cute at first, now it has become an obsession; it has transcended what Shikamaru deemed a _drag_.

Having to hear about how great smart and handsome Sasuke was, really begins to take a toll on one's sanity after a while. A day hasn't gone by when she didn't hear the word _Sasuke_ and it was infuriating. Sure she often spoke out against this, but it was to no avail, they would simply switch the subject then helplessly fall back into some Sasuke-related topic. And the cycle continued.

She snickered at the thought that today he'll have to sit through one of her lunch session and listen to how great he was. She supposed that he'd like it at first—you know, with him being such a cocky brat. But then it'll get annoying and maybe, just maybe he'll think twice about being as awesome as everyone makes him out to be.

He was good looking, that much was true, but besides that, she REALLY didn't get what all the fuss was about. He was an asshole by nature, uptight, overbearing and frankly speaking a complete turn off. He had no respect, no integrity and no ughhh—

Tenten was stopped in mid-thought. Someone had thrown their arm around her shoulders.

"Sasuke-teme!"

"Quit it dork!" she did her best Sasuke impersonation. Naruto didn't look convinced, but then again she wasn't even convinced herself. Gently easing his arm from around her shoulders, she tried to disregard his presence as Sasuke so often does.

"So..." Naruto nudged her shoulders. "How did it go last night?"

She had always admired Naruto for his free-spirit, his optimism, his confidence and the fact that he was hyperactive. And of course there was always his infamous fetish for mischief. He and Kiba had served so many detentions she didn't think anyone would be able to surpass them or even continue their legacy.

"How did what go?" she growled.

Naruto winked knowingly, "You know..."

She flushed, _that thing_...must have been what had left a trail of hickey on his neck. Silently, Tenten wondered who the lucky girl had been. What the fuck? Lucky? She felt the sick urge to spill the contents of her stomach. "It—ugh—it went well," I suppose, she thought with a grimace and rubbed the back of her neck.

"You're the man!" Naruto patted her roughly on the back, knocking the wind from her lungs. "I'll catch you later!" he waved then ran off into the direction of Hinata Hyuuga. "Hinata-chan!"

She shook her head as a startled Hinata went a million shades of red upon Naruto's approach. Her heart did a back flip, if Hinata had arrived, that meant Neji had as well. Now it was her turn to blush.

Sadly he was nowhere in sight.

She sighed and quickly made her through the hall way, with grave difficulty. She probably forgot to mention that Sasuke went nowhere without a trail of fans girls staring with googly eyes behind.

The bell chimed, first period started in five minutes and she couldn't spot herself anywhere. Deciding against of standing around looking like a helpless puppy, she went to her locker to fetch a few text books.

Just as she slammed the iron locker shut she heard someone say her name. She gasped at her former self who now wore a dark scowl on her face.

"Are you stupid?" Sasuke yanked the textbooks from her hands looking grudgingly at the pink zebra printed wrapping paper. "I can't be seen fetching books from your locker."

Her anger surprised her, "I didn't know your combination, what the hell was I suppose to do? Stand around waiting for you? That alone would get people talking!"

"I haven't got time for child's play, take my schedule. Don't be late for any of my classes," he warned before attempting to stalk off. "What?" he growled when Tenten grasp his wrist with her iron fist.

She looked at the paper he had handed her, "Gym class is first?"

He looked at her as though she was stupid. She had to admit, she had a quite compelling glare. "I know you're many things, and oddly enough dyslexic is not one of them," he rolled his brown eyes. "Gym class is first. That's what the paper says."

"And where did you get that?" she demanded, finally scorching Sasuke with a curious once-over. He did the same to her. Apparently satisfied that she hadn't worn something as ridiculous as a chicken suit to school he returned his attention to the face that he had once called his own.

"Your sister," he said flatly.

Tenten's brows furrowed as she scrutinized her former self. She did not wear high waist shorts, and squirmed just thinking the number of guys who must had stolen peeks at her long bronze legs already.

Nor did she wear tops that revealed too much cleavage. Heck she didn't wear makeup! And why wasn't her hair caught in her signature twin buns?

"Leave it up to Yumi to ruin a person's sense of style..." she muttered.

Yumi, so that was her name.

"And your style was what exactly?" he asked peevishly.

"I can see the curve of my breasts through the neck cut of that damn blouse," she shrieked, putting her hands on her hips.

"You can?" Sasuke looked down at himself spitefully.

Tenten looked as though she would have a fit. "Hey! Take your eyes off those!"

Sasuke smirked, "It's not like I haven't seen them already. Get your hands off my hips!"

The veins at her temples pulsed rapidly. She felt the rash inclination to slap him but thought better than to hit a girl in public. Not to mention, that girl was herself. "I'll put my hands wherever I want to!"

"You are so immature," he scoff. "I'm going to class."

She stopped him again. This time he looked as ready to behead her. After a few seconds of tugging he gave in with a sigh grumbling that she'd be the one with a late record on her report card. Not him.

"Put a jacket on or something—" she suggested.

"Hn," there he goes again with that nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

"—unless you don't mind having guys constantly checking you out," she added with a satisfactory grin after seeing his reaction.

Quickly composing himself as always, he told her drily, "I highly doubt they'll be staring."

She clenched her fist and gritted her teeth, "What are you implying asshole, that'd I haven't got anything to stare at?" she crept dangerously closer to him, a vendetta in mind.

"Careful Sasuke," he jeered. "You wouldn't want to hit a girl."

"Believe me I would, " she glowered.

"Then go ahead," he straightened himself, "Take your best shot, but don't go crying when you're sporting a black eye."

Her dark eyes flared with anger. "I can't stand you!"

Sasuke giggled and she marvelled at how bubbly and vibrant her laughter was. She had never noticed how her eyes sparkled when she smiled. Not that the smug curve of her mouth was much of a smile. But had she never acknowledged how tanned and smooth her skin was? Or how silky her auburn tresses were? Or how rosy and full her lips were? And oh dear, was this Sasuke's body speaking? She sure as hell wouldn't have gotten this strange feeling if she were looking in a mirror.

"Right back at you," he fixed her a look.

It was hard to take him seriously when she was practically looking at her reflection. Not to mention Sasuke's height added to her feel of superiority. Her petite frame was nowhere near as lean and muscular as his was. Tenten felt her heart falter at the memory of her encounter with his body in the shower this morning—when she had discovered just how lean and muscular he was.

Her mouth went dry.

Sasuke elevated a brow, but thinking better than to enquire what was going through her mind he snatched the opportunity to make a quick escape to class.

Slightly embarrassed, Tenten hurried to the locker room thinking that her day couldn't get any weirder than finding herself daydreaming about Sasuke's body. But believe it or not—it got a whole lot weirder than that.

Gym class had never been her favourite class, in fact she hated it. But today, oddly enough Tenten was rather relishing the idea of having gym class. Toned muscles, chest hair and clean skin defined inside the men's locker room. And it was something she preferred to that of the girls showing off their latest love bites, tattoos, new piercings and sports bras.

She was too busy trying to hide the blush that crept up on her face to enjoy the view or even notice that Hyuuga Neji had come in. It was not until he addressed her—startling her in the process— that she realized.

"I caught Tenten going into the men's restroom not too long ago," he chuckled, removing his shirt and taking his gym wears from his locker.

Tenten watched him wordlessly, not really hearing what he was saying but totally captivated by his action.

"That girl is trouble," she managed to say, she was sure that was the kind of remark Sasuke would have made about her.

"She stuttered so much I felt like I was scolding Hinata," he chuckled again. That deep, rich masculine laugh. She the force of it vibrating along her skin. Her knees buckled slightly, "She had the nerve to tell me I was in the wrong restroom. Would you believe it?"

What she believed was that she was harbouring some very un-Tenten-like thoughts in her head.

"Uchiha?" Neji stared at her strangely but continued to rant about _**her**_ eerie actions.

She hadn't even considered acknowledging the very pleasing fact that Neji was rambling about her. It was pathetic but whenever she was in the presence of such beauty she thought it rude not to acknowledge it.

"Something's up with her today though, have you seen what she's wearing? That's definitely not her style..."

Neji's voice drowned in her thoughts.

He had some of the most gorgeous pair of eyes known to man. It was a unique shade of lavender, almost close to white. And he held the most alluring gaze she has ever come across. It swept over her face even as he spoke.

"It's the first that I've ever seen her without her hair in buns."

On the subject of hair her gaze travelled along the length of the silky chestnut tresses that cascaded down his back. From where she stood she could smell the fresh scent of his hair as he ran his hand through it.

He painted the picturesque of a sensual god. Every inch of him reeked of perfection—perfection that surpassed Sasuke's—perfection that had her insides turning over just to be standing so close to him. Perfectly chiselled features, perfectly taut and tones muscles, he was fucking perfect. Even whilst she associated him with the word perfection, it was but a gross understatement.

His lips curled up in a smirk, "Naruto's convinced something big happened last night," he changed the subject, seeing _Sasuke's_ lack of enthusiasm about _Tenten's_ antics. "Would you mind cuing me in on what has got him saying things like, _you're the man_?"

Her lips parted as if to say something, but speech could not find her.

His beautiful chest rose and fell as he chuckled at a funny thought. She caught her breath, allowing her eyes to wonder across to his broad shoulders, evident because he was a member of the swim team. She tried to focus her attention on something safe but nothing on him seemed safe.

"Uchiha?" Neji waved his hand before her.

She flushed.

He must have noticed that she was staring. She swallowed, deciding to stare at his shoes.

Geez! Did all the boys have the privilege of basking in Neji's heavenly beauty during gym sessions?

"He's telling all the other guys you hooked up with an older woman—"

Narrow hips, she noted as her eyes ventured lower. And as she did, her jeans began to fit more closely. This, she hadn't given much thought until it became uncomfortable.

"—I don't speculate, I'd like to hear from the source," he nudged her shoulders playfully.

His skin against hers—she was at melting point.

Sasuke groaned and Neji looked at him questioningly. "Uchiha?" he asked, studying the pained expression on Sasuke's face. "Is something wrong?"

This was not good, she turned away quickly. Her blood was already rushing downwards—as if gravity had finally caught up with it. She felt her breath quickened. Already her body was hardening, in tune with every breath she took, aware of every move Neji made.

"I'm fine," her—Sasuke's voice sounded husky and unfamiliar.

Risking a glance down to where her jeans fitted too closely, she saw what was causing the discomfort. The thing beneath the fly of her jeans was fixed at an awkward angle—perfectly perpendicular to the rest of her body. Tenten had to throw her hands against her mouth from stopping the shriek that threatened to escape her lips. She sweat-dropped, feeling herself go pale and red at the same time.

In that moment she would have given anything for someone to tell her how to make it go back down!

**Chapter Three Preview**

"Go in there and do what you do best!" Naruto struck his good guy pose and flashed a toothy grin.

"Which is?" the one-time brunette struggled against the weight of a blonde girl who had thrown herself down on her lap. Tenten flushed as an arm snaked around her neck, and then the other curious hand crept slowly up along the length of her thigh to grasp the weight positioned between them. At this she cringed in disgust.

"Getting laid," he answered with a wink.

Tenten gasped as she was roughly pulled from the chair and dragged off by three giggling girls. She faintly heard Naruto bragging about Sasuke prowess with women before the door slammed shut behind her.

Oh fuck.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: My idea of humor is severely fucked. I wouldn't be surprised if no one found it funny. Still, reviews are very much appreciated for a confidence boost. Its a quality I possess in meagre quantity.**


	3. Drawing the Lines

**The Switch**

**Chapter Three – Drawing the Lines**

**A/N: I suck at updating stories, especially when my enthusiasm dies a little each chapter.**

* * *

><p>Sasuke heaved a frustrated sigh, all the while glaring at the unwanted individual making his way over to join him. Of all the empty seats in the cafeteria, he had to choose this one?<p>

"Tenten-chan!" his voice rose above the murmur of the canteen.

Sasuke cringed having grown annoyed with Tenten's eerie bunch of friends. The pink haired nuisance and the blonde shrew irritated him the most. He swore, if he had to hear just how amazing he was one more time he'd lose it.

Their obvious infatuation with him occasionally served as an ego boost but having to sit through a free period listening to childish fantasies about him was taking things a bit too far. He was no one's knight in shining armour. And he definitely could not picture himself saying "Ino, Ino let down your long hair."

Then there was Neji's busty little cousin, she was just plain pathetic in his opinion. He supposed any girl crushing on the dobe—ie. Naruto—would have to be.

But above all was the green-jumpsuit-wearing-freak, with his massive eyebrows and that atrocious haircut. It looked like he was wearing a black soup bowl on his head. Honestly, he was like the cross-breed between Naruto and Kiba—on steroids.

And that was just putting his hyperactivity lightly.

"Lee..." he greeted, slapping a pained smile across his porcelain face.

"Is this seat taken?" he asked, flashing one of his _good guy_ smiles—as if it were any consolation to make Sasuke want to sit beside him anymore than he already didn't.

Visibly the Uchiha twitched, "No..." he answered regrettably. "But if you sit down this one will be," he muttered beneath his breath.

"What was that Ten?" he dropped his lunch tray noisily on the table, flopping down in his seat.

"How are you doing Lee?" he couldn't possibly have cared less. But he had to put up a front, for his sake rather than Tenten's.

If he knew nothing else about her, he knew of her fetish for vengeance. There was no telling what she'd do while masquerading as him just to get even. And because he wasn't in the least bit interested in finding out, he tried to keep his cool.

They have yet to bury the hatchet that had somehow manifested between them over the last couple of years. The wounds were still raw—though he wasn't sure how they got there to begin with—but he wasn't about to go picking at it.

"I'm doing great actually!" Lee replied, making noisy slurping sound with his straw. "I ran four miles before I came to school this morning."

"That's great," his face felt stiff from forging another smile.

"Hey brushy brow!"

In came another moron, Sasuke rolled his eyes inwardly. It would appear that Tenten's life was contaminated them. Birds of a feather did flock together however, he reasoned to himself.

"My youthful comrade!" Lee gave out upon Naruto's arrival.

Sasuke made use of Lee's momentary distraction to inch his chair further away. He didn't get too far for only seconds later Naruto flung himself down on the chair to his other side.

"Tennie-chan!" he sang, "Guess what? Guess what?"

"Naruto," he growled darkly, feeling claustrophobic. Didn't these dimwits have any respect for personal space?

"Hinata-chan agreed to go out with me!" he announced.

At this Sasuke smirked, of course it wasn't out of genuine glee for the new couple. But he knew that having the blonde parade around the school with Neji's cousin would most likely end with him sporting a black eye. That was why he found satisfaction in Naruto's admission.

"That's great news," Sasuke croaked.

"All thanks to you of course."

He anticipated that cheesy grin on Naruto's face before it even surfaced. But he hadn't expected Naruto to lace his hands with his and draw it up to his lips to plant a sloppy wet kiss on the back of his palm.

Sasuke's face went flushed with uncertainty, then with embarrassment, finally settling for anger.

After roughly yanking his hand out of Naruto's grasp, he smacked him across the head and wiped at his hands with a napkin. "What did you do that for?" he shrieked, thoroughly appalled.

Naruto regarded him with nervous caution when he spoke this time, "You always found it cute when I did that," he rubbed the back of his head where he could still feel the impact of the blow.

Their gaze clashed at the reminder. He closed his eyes and released a chagrined laugh, and then he stopped abruptly. "Don't ever do that again," Sasuke warned, surprised at his placid demeanour when inside he was hurdling over and puking his insides out.

"But Tenten..."

"Let it go Naruto..." Lee suggested.

The canteen grew hushed as it always did whenever he and his friends came in for lunch. A cocky smirk curled the ends of Sasuke's lips. Even Naruto and Lee's idle chatter faded upon the group's entrance. The few freshmen girls who were still on their lunch period squealed in delight and began to point. The dreamy sighs and giggling followed soon after.

One by one the jocks began to assume their rightful position at the table situated in the centre of the canteen. They were the centre of most girls' attention and the core of every guy's envy. So it was only natural that they sat in the middle for all to bask and dwindle in their glory and beauty.

Naruto and Lee began to pass snide remarks about each individual as they sat down which infuriated the Uchiha to some extent but he was mostly pleased by it. He always welcomed the bias and negative criticisms he often got from the other ninety-eight percentage of the male population who weren't in his circle. It meant that they found themselves so inferior to him and his friends that they'd find the silliest of things to bash them about. He presumed that by pointing out _their _flaws—ie. the jocks—it somehow made _them_— ie. the commoners—feel less inferior.

"Bow down to me you peasants for I'm the almighty Hyuuga Neji, heir of the Hyuuga dynasty," Lee mimicked while Naruto bowed in pretence reverence.

"Ladies feel free to look but you can't touch." Naruto started, patting his head dramatically as he spoke. "My family has invested too much in expensive hair products for you to taint my weave," they both went up into a fit of laughter.

Sasuke shook his head at them, suppressing the urge to pour his drink down their shirts. From across the room Neji sent the trio an eerie glance, nodded at Sasuke—or rather, at Tenten—in acknowledgement then continued to converse with Shikamaru.

Sasuke returned the curt nod knowing damn well that Tenten would have been waving like crazy with that dumb grin on her face, identical to the one Naruto so often flaunted. He didn't get why Neji associated himself with people like her. She was an obnoxious, know-it-all brat, too plain and way too far down on the social ladder.

See that was the difference between himself and the Hyuuga. Neji was a tad bit too accepting for his own good.

Coming to think of it he was a little too big on nobility and fairness as well. In all their years as friends he had never once sided with Sasuke. Reason being that Sasuke was usually the offender but one would have thought him to put morals aside and take his best friend's side. Instead he always played by the books and acted as an arbitrator.

Deep down, Sasuke appreciated that greatly, though he'd never admit it.

"Ladies if you're into fruits then you should dig me," Lee puffed out his chest and jabbed at it with his thumb. "I mean look at me; I'm easily the most attractive pineapple that you'll ever come across."

Naruto pounded his fist on the table with tears in his eyes, "That's a good one brushy brow!"

Sasuke grunted.

"Bitches are drags, school is drag, assignments are drags," Naruto drawled lazily, "Heck the fucking economy is drag."

This time it was Lee's turn to go hysteric, "You nailed it."

Gaara filed in next, looking every bit as annoyed as Sasuke felt.

"I swear that thing under my eye isn't my sister's mascara," Lee laughed. "Who needs that when Crayola has markers?"

"It's my birthday and I can shave my eyebrows and tattoo my forehead if I want to," Naruto sang.

Sasuke face-palmed himself. If this was what he'd have to endure every lunch break then he was prepared to fast.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha and I don't have to do assignments to get an A," Lee laughed. "I'll do the teacher's daughter instead."

At this Sasuke's fist clenched at his sides. What kind of impersonation was that? Apparently Naruto's thoughts drifted down similar paths because he fixed Lee an odd look as well.

"I really don't understand why so many girls are into me. I mean, I've got the ass of a duck plastered on the back of my head. That alone should count as animal cruelty—"

Their voices drowned out as Sasuke studied his incoming self. There was something awfully off about him—about Tenten. He knew the feeling well enough to recognize it in the expression on his former face. It was discomfort along with an odd sense—of—of vulnerability? He wondered if perhaps she had gotten injured during gym class. She wasn't limping so to speak and she looked pretty much intact, he confirmed after giving her a surveying onceover.

Expect for that slight indentation in her jeans.

"Holy fuck," he gave out, causing Lee and Naruto to call after him after he dashed across the room.

OoOoOoOo

The last thing Tenten expected when she entered the canteen was to crash into the petite form of the body she had once called her own. It had been a rather painful collision too because the smaller form had forced itself straight onto the aching region just below the fly of her jeans.

"Sasuke," she hissed in pain. "What are you doing?"

"The question should be, what have you been doing?" he pointed an accusing finger below and she flushed until her ears went pink.

"I-uh...I-uh..." speech fled her at the sight of the anger that glittered in his brown eyes.

He crept closer, if that was possible and she stumbled backwards. Vaguely aware of the apprehensive glances being sent their way Sasuke took another step forward and Tenten took two steps back.

"I can explain," she said in a low voice.

"You had better can," he stated, his expression was one of candid outraged.

She balled her hands into fists, frustration implicit in every line of her body. "I was in the male locker room—" she started to explain, having found that he had led them both out of the cafeteria.

"You were in the locker room and what?" He demanded.

She swallowed, "And we were changing—" she continued. "Neji came in and he was taking his shirt off and—"

"—I don't want to hear it!" Sasuke suddenly gave out. He ran his hand through his brown tresses; his eyes wide with horror.

She felt humiliated. "I'm sorry..."

He cut her off with a swipe of his hand; his gaze held hers and narrowed. "You don't walk around with something like that," his voice cut sharper than she'd ever heard it. "Guys aren't like girls in that regard Tenten. We have to practice self-control, I suggest that you get some," he spun on his heels and left, not before he shot her another sharp look.

She knew what that look meant, there'd be hell to pay.

It wasn't until a full fifteen minutes had passed before she re-entered the canteen. Sasuke sat across the room glancing gingerly in her direction while trying to evade conversation with Naruto and Lee. They were later joined by Kiba and Chouji. She had way too many guy friends, she thought to herself.

Tenten made her way to the lunch table where the real Sasuke often had lunch. Thankfully, she was passed her little incident, because his friends wouldn't have missed it this time around judging from the way they were all studying her.

"Uchiha, what was that?" Neji asked before she even got the chance to settle in her seat.

She flushed a little but mindful of the scowling boy—well, girl—behind her, she composed herself. "I'd like to know myself," she knitted her brows together in furrow.

Neji didn't look won over, he raised a sooty brow at her, "So you two are friends now?"

Without thinking she gave out, "Me and him? Geez no!" she shook her head. Everyone raised their brows at her this time. When she realized what she had said, Tenten corrected herself hastily, going red in the process.

"I saw you getting books from her locker this morning," Shikamaru just had to mention.

Deep-set lavender eyes stared at her from one of the most striking faces she'd ever seen. Lean and pale, with high, sharp cheekbones, the blood of his ancestors had left an indelible stamp on that impressive bone structure. His hair was darker and longer than conventional, but it complimented him well. "Is that so Uchiha?"

"Assume whatever you want to," she said flatly.

"No one's making any assumptions," Gaara volunteered. "That was just too much of an intimate gesture for it to pass."

"But just now it was merely an accident," she redirected the conversation as she hadn't a valid explanation as to why it was she had been fetching books from _**her**_ locker.

"She looked ready to bite your head off," Shikamaru noted.

"It's Tenten," she pointed out as though it were to mean something to them. Apparently it didn't because all eyes swivelled to clash with hers and she took a moment to sweep her gaze over each person's face trying to muster what was going through their minds. "I wouldn't be surprised if she had a pair of scissors ready to castrate me," she laughed it off.

They didn't find it funny.

She sunk even lower in her in seat.

And that was as far as conversation went between them. They ate in silence as she was accustomed to seeing them do. But she was very aware that their state of reticence also meant that they were very observant of their surroundings. So she knew chancing a glance over to where Sasuke sat would not have gone unnoticed and would probably have raised more speculations.

"Itachi agreed to loan you the car for tonight right?" Neji asked.

"Uh..." she hadn't a clue what he was talking about, but to save Sasuke from looking anymore stupid than she knew he was looking at the moment, she nodded.

"You'll have to pick me up first," Shikamaru yawned. "You know how easily I change my mind when it comes to things like these."

Pick him up? She couldn't fucking drive!

"Hn" she answered not sure whether it came off as an agreement or otherwise.

Lunch ended.

Classes resumed.

She got a math quiz, and failed she presumed.

Technically it wasn't her fault, they were in separate math classes and his teacher was clearly way ahead of all the other classes. Half the problems on the paper had seemed too abstract for the average human mind to even process what it was asking, let alone figure them out. She knew that it would reflect negatively on her part, as she suspected Sasuke would purposely fail a class to even the score. Hence initiating the cycle of torment they had both anticipated.

At exactly fifteen minutes past the hour of three Itachi was stationed in the school's parking lot waiting to pick up the brother she knew he saw as a nuisance.

"Bye Uchiha-san!"

"See you tomorrow Sasuke-kun!"

Tenten winced as one particularly bold girl latched her arms around her. It took some amount of strength to peel the damn girl off but it took even more to not throw up as another blew her a kiss.

Seeing his brother's obvious humiliation, Itachi snickered and ushered the teen into the car.

"She isn't amongst one of those girls is she?" he asked, rendering Tenten bewildered for a second or two until she recalled the very awkward conversation they had this morning. Correction—the very scandalous hypothesis about the trail of red spots on her neck that could have very much been mosquito bites.

"I hope not," she wondered herself then went florid.

He glanced at her from side-ways with an open once-over that felt less offensive than something more discreet. He chuckled lightly but remained silent for the rest of the journey which Tenten was grateful for.

It was not until after dinner that Itachi informed Tenten that he'd be going out with a couple of his friends tonight so she couldn't take the car. She was grateful for two things, not having an attempt at her life by an attempt to drive and having found out that Itachi had agreed to loan her the car after all. But that left one huge problem, how would the guys get picked up?

And where were they going?

"I won't be leaving for another three hours, so if you want I could drop you off but you'd have to find your own ride home."

"Hn" she shrugged her shoulders trying not to blush underneath his penetrating obsidian gaze.

Before she knew it, she was dressed and leaving, not understanding why Sasuke's parents would allow their son to go out on a school night. And not fully comprehending why she hadn't suggested that the guys called tonight off since the car pooling arrangement blew. How was she supposed to get home? A cab seemed logical yes, but she hadn't a clue what the name of the street where she now lived was and she definitely hadn't spent the time studying the route Itachi had drove earlier.

When she arrived at Konoha Grill and Bar she was not surprise to see that Shikamaru hadn't showed but Neji and Gaara—though grating—had put in an appearance. From what she gathered some senior was having a birthday party and had invited Sasuke and his friends. With her social status Tenten had never been invited to one of these raging teen parties before but she had seen enough of the movies to know what really happened at these gatherings.

A couple of the girls had gone wasted already, their tops were missing and they were rubbing themselves up against guys that they wouldn't normally associate themselves with—guys like Naruto.

Above the music she could hear him shouting something that was awfully slurred and babbly, indicating that he too couldn't hold his liquor well. She resisted the urge to giggle as one of the girls that were grinding herself against him, staggered and fell. In an attempt to help the girl to her feet Naruto himself fell.

Neji made a tutting sound, "And that's the type guy Hinata wishes to be associated with," he shook his head solemnly.

"Hn" she answered, annoyed that her choice of responses were limited to '_hns'._

A small brunette with ample bosom along with another dark haired girl came from out of nowhere and snatched Gaara away to the far end of the club. That left Neji and _Sasuke_ by themselves to make idle conversation while they watched the perverse episode unfold before their eyes.

"Who are they?" she asked, watching the crowd swallow up Gaara and the girls' form.

"Matsuri and Sari."

Tenten thought their names sounded familiar but she hadn't gotten a good look at their faces to pin the names to the faces.

"Excuse me Uchiha," Neji pardoned himself having spotted little Hanabi and a couple of her friends.

Somebody was going to be in a lot of trouble, Tenten thought. From across the room she watched as Neji steered the fuming girl out the building and chuckled to herself. After realizing that Neji was probably not going to return anytime soon—much to her dismay—she found herself a seat, risked a drink and wondered what Sasuke was doing.

"Sasuke-teme," Naruto stumbled towards her, with two girls equally as stoned as he was. He whispered something to both girls who giggled.

"Well if it isn't the dobe," she snickered, knowing that in the morning Naruto wouldn't remember a single detail about _Sasuke's_ uncharacteristic lost of his cool.

"I couldn't help noticing that you were a bit lonely over here," he laughed out. "Did Neji leave to readjust his extensions again?"

She growled.

He whispered something to the girls again and they giggled in delight.

"Never mind that," Naruto jeered. "It's a party and everybody's having fun," he pointed to a wooden door. "So go in there and do what you do best," he struck his good guy pose and flashed a toothy grin.

"Which is?" the one-time brunette struggled against the weight of the redhead who had thrown herself down on her lap. Tenten flushed as an arm snaked around her neck, and then the other curious hand crept slowly up along the length of her thigh to grasp the weight positioned between them. At this she cringed in disgust.

"Getting laid," he answered with a wink.

Tenten gasped as she was roughly pulled from the chair and dragged off by the two giggling girls. She faintly heard Naruto bragging about Sasuke prowess with women before the door slammed shut behind her.

Oh fuck.

oOoOoOoOo

"Sasuke isn't here yeah," the tall blonde man that opened the door to his house told him after he had inquired on the whereabouts of his former self.

"Who is it?" he heard his brother ask from inside.

"Some girl," Deidara replied, his azure gaze travelling along the length of Tenten's form in a manner that made Sasuke shudder. "She's looking for your kid brother."

He absolutely hated his brother's friends, Deidara especially, who in his opinion was probably meant to have been a girl. With his long blonde mane, blue eyes and bitchy personality, one could've easily mistaken him for Ino Yamanaka.

Not to mention the fact that he was into pottery, this, Sasuke found rather queer. What he found odd however, was that after spending hours of turning clay into ornate pieces, Deidara would simply smash his creations to bits arguing that true art was a bang. And that it wasn't until its destruction that art could ever really be appreciated.

Psychotic much?

Sasori often criticized Deidara's views on art with good reasoning. Butof course, no one took the ill-tempered redhead seriously because his version of art was collecting old puppets and dolls. This, Sasuke found childish but at least he didn't go all sociopathic and rip the dolls to shreds.

Then there was Hidan with his pink orbs and ashen locks. It was quite a rare combination but Sasuke found that it suited him. That, and his repulsive vocabulary which consisted mainly of curse words. He swore he had never heard Hidan utter a single sentence without having somehow incorporated the word _fuck_. And they call him religious?

Sasuke shook his head.

"Sasuke isn't here," Itachi came to the door this time.

"Well, where can I find him?" he demanded, loathing the long study his brother gave him.

"Fiery one isn't she?" Deidara chuckled. "What's your name girl?"

"How's that of any importance?" he snapped.

"You're looking for my brother that and that alone qualifies as a decent reason for you to state your name," Itachi pointed out sternly, assuming the role of the over-protective brother he used to be.

"It's Tenten," he muttered, feeling stupid for revealing her dumb name.

"Well Tenten, Sasuke is not here," Itachi told him.

From inside a peeved voice called, "What's with the fucking hold up?"

He needn't any confirmation that the voice had indeed belonged Hidan. He later joined the duo at the door and glowered at the little girl before him, "The fuck do you want?"

"She's looking for Sasuke," Deidara answered.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" He gave out, "How long does it take to tell the brat that Sasuke isn't fucking here?"

"Hidan..." Itachi warned.

Their parents would not have tolerated the use of such vocabulary in their house.

"There's no need to be rude yeah," Deidara scolded the white-haired boy then looked apologetically at the girl. "Sorry hun."

"She's taking up a shit load of our time," he scowled. "I'll show you fucking rude!"

Then the door slammed in his face.

As the reality of what had just transpired began to dawn on him he took out Tenten's phone and punched in his cell number.

Hidan had just shut the door in his face.

In his damn house.

His damn door.

"Sasuke's phone, how may I help you?" came a voice from the other end of the line.

"What are you doing with my phone moron?" he asked loudly, hearing the loud music in the background but identifying the voice as Naruto's nevertheless.

"Tenten? Is that you?" he asked slurring his words a little, obviously stoned. "You sound so pretty."

His left eye began to twitch uncontrollably but he caught himself in time to ask, "Where's Sasuke?"

He heard mild giggling in the background, "Sasuke has got his hands full at the moment, but I can take a message."

"What are you getting at?"

"Wouldn't you like to know..." Naruto said knowingly, then went into another laughing fit, much like he did this morning when he had made fun of his friends.

Sasuke slid the phone shut; there was no mistaking what Naruto was implying now. He had allowed Tenten a pass this morning when she had her_ hormonal_ incident. But getting laid in his body was where he drew the line.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yeah, this story has definitely lost its appeal—at least to me. It's not my usual kind of setting, I tend to stray from reading and writing High School fics. Somehow they always end up sort of cliché. Not to say that there aren't a couple amazing ones out there, I just can't write it for shit.**


	4. Compromising Positions

**The Switch**

**Chapter Four – Compromising Positions**

**Dedicated to 1 Helluva Guest**

* * *

><p>She gazed up at her captors in panic, too confused to realize that they had dragged her into an abandoned storage room. Dust laid in pristine layers over every surface like brown snow. There was hardly any sign of human activity. The only obvious users of the room weaved their webs from ceiling to wall. Cobweb covered most of the furniture and articles hanging on the wooden partition.<p>

Dust bunnies tumbled across the floor, sticking to the heels of their shoes. Old ceramic mugs and dirt covered glass bottles lay on shelves—shelves that were thickly encrusted with dried up mould. The smell of mildew and stale air permeated the dimly lit room.

Its sole source of light came from the light bulb above them. Dust particles could be seen moving randomly around in its flare as it flickered. Obvious circuit wear caused it to buzz like an annoying fly that couldn't be caught.

Music from the raging party beyond the old door lulled into the background.

Tenten's breathing had grown shallow. A shiver ran the length of her spine. She was a mass of nerves. Her heart plunged to her feet as a hand ran down the former brunette's chest to her slacks. Exploring fingers slid along the waistline, just below the fabric, and then moved over the zipper. They fumbled with the clasp, pulling down the zipper.

The bold gesture sent an eerie spark of something through her nervous system. Heat stung her cheeks when it dawned on her that they really intended to violate her—to violate Sasuke.

Her abductor giggled in triumph, feeling Tenten's shudder shooting around like fireworks beneath her sensitized skin.

Fangirls weren't supposed to get this touchy. Did this sort of thing happen often? Alarm flooded her mind; her stomach clenched unpleasantly. She didn't think she would be able to cope much longer in Sasuke's body if it did. And she can't imagine that the Uchiha would earn much street cred if he was caught fighting a couple fangirls, much to her dismay. She felt like pummeling these two to the ground.

She was however, by no means, as proficient with wielding the brute strength and stamina his form possessed. "Get your hands off me!" she thrashed about, but it was to little avail. One of her detainers had clasped both her hands behind her back in a steel-vice-like grip.

The girl's bust was the only thing that prevented Tenten from being firmly—flatly pressed against her front. She had steered them towards the darkest corner of the small space. Tenten's sneakers drew tracks on the dusty board floor.

The fact that she couldn't see the other girl's face threatened to overwhelm her, that and the foul smell of liquor that seemed to thicken the girls' breaths. Sweat poured off Tenten faster than if she was subjected to the sun's full intensity.

Her legs were free though and without even realizing it, she blindly kicked out. Reacting solely on instinct. Luckily the girl in front of her had sharp reflexes or she would've had the wind punted out of her.

"That wasn't very nice Sasuke-kun," the said lass reached up and caressed Tenten's cheek with the back of her fingers. "Naruto hinted that you'd be a bit more accommodating."

She felt the blood pound in her ears, her voice trembled. "Accommodating?"

"You've been leaving me these signs—" the girl leaned in towards Tenten, using a hand to graze the tender skin at the back of her neck. Trickles of repugnance chilled her body. The warm breath fanning Tenten's lips was one of a disturbing sensation that she was certain testosterone was responsible for. "—I've seen the way you look at me Sasuke-kun."

"I don't even know you!" Tenten retorted.

Her capturer's eyes became dark slits and an angry gasp escaped her throat. She steadied the pair of glasses she wore and tossed her mob of red hair behind her. "I didn't peg you as a liar Sasuke-kun," she whispered thickly before attempting to press a kiss to _Sasuke's _mouth.

Tenten sharply turned her face away, utterly repulsed. She was not going share her first kiss with another female nor let it be in Sasuke's body. "You're disgusting," she said under her breath.

"Am I?" she smirked, reaching down to tug the slacks down, and Tenten would have been left in her nothing but her boxers hadn't Hyuuga Neji came to her rescue.

His anger was one of stone cold fury, evident in how fiercely he had swung the door open.

The full blast of the music stole into the room, taking along with it the occasional flash of light from the overhead disco ball. Tenten swallowed as a few eyes shot inside to assess the situation.

"Karin what is going on here?" he demanded, white eyes glittering as he looked at the flustered girls and an equally red _Sasuke_. His expression was scornful, his jaw clenched. "Get out!" he instructed coldly, his voice sounding like the lash of a whip's tongue.

At the sight of the seething Hyuuga, both Karin and her nameless accomplice dashed out of the room at a speed that lightning itself would envy.

Tenten scrambled towards Neji—without any thought of being in Sasuke's body—and threw herself into his arms. "They were harassing me Neji," she sobbed dramatically, burying her face into the cradle of his neck. "Naruto—he—he."

Neji's reaction was instantaneous; he gingerly peeled her off him and scoffed. "What is the meaning of this Uchiha?" he cringed, studying her intently. "Have you been drinking?"

Her stomach took a nosedive at the killing look he shot her.

The shock of what had almost become of her still washed in waves over her. She tried to compose herself but her composure was already frayed. Being on the receiving end of Sasuke's fangirls' antics had shaken her up more than a notch. It left her a little traumatized. A little shell-shocked.

Her fingers shook as she struggled to re-zip her trousers.

When she raised her head, Neji was still studying her—waiting for an answer.

Tenten opened her mouth to speak but a lump had clogged up her throat. Having observed how Sasuke and Neji communicated with each other, she shrugged her shoulders dismissively in hopes that it would be enough.

"Why is Tenten here Uchiha?" Neji suddenly asked, sounding as if he'd wanted to ask that very question before he had even shooed Karin.

Her nerves squirmed. "Sasuke?" she gasped and wondered what he could possibly be doing here.

His neat brows furrowed his beautifully sculptured features taut in enquiry. "Why is she here and looking for you?"

"Hn," Tenten tried to shake it off.

His eyes burned with such intensity that her breath froze like Popsicle in her lungs. For a moment she had to look away.

"You've been acting a bit strange lately," Neji noted, running a calculating gaze across her face.

Tenten's knees buckled, it felt suddenly as if his eyes had morphed into limbs and were actually caressing her face. "It has been a long day, Hyuuga," she stuttered hoarsely, her hand went to her throat as if she was sweetly suffocating.

There was a quality to Neji's scent, one that carried a musk. It sent a sharp ache deep into her chest.

She swayed a little.

He took in a sharp breath even as she inhaled his scent. She felt the rush of blood to hidden places.

He filled her senses. His body heat surrounded her even with though he was a good couple of feet away.

Everything beyond him fuzzed in her vision, as if her eyes wanted to focus wholly on him. And his scent reached out to her, drawing her closer with an undeniable pull.

She'd never felt like this, even when she'd daydreamed about him. Not even this morning in the locker room.

It was so different. Scary, but totally delicious too. And the sensation wasn't one she wanted to end immediately.

Damn it, was the male body so weak and control-resistant?

If she remained too long in Neji's presence there might just be a repeat of earlier's incident. Every single inch of him looked too strong, too sleek and formidably exclusive. Her mouth ran dry and her heart started beating too fast as she flickered her gaze up to stare at the sensual shape of his unsmiling mouth. And finally—finally she made contact with his eyes.

He was looking back at her as if the incident had disconcerted him as much as it had done to her. Apparently her explanation wasn't reason enough for Sasuke's odd behaviour. "One minute you're parading around the school with Tenten, the next I catch you here, frolicking with some other girl."

If she didn't know any better she would have thought he sounded a tiny bit bitter.

Defensive tension stiffened her stance. "What's it to you?" she managed, unaware that her hands had clenched into fists on the ends of arms that held straight like sticks at her sides.

It was more in anticipation—for what? She didn't know—rather than out of frustration.

The floating veil of his eyelashes swept downwards, "I don't like you playing around with her," he delivered tersely.

Her lips parted in mild surprise.

Hyuuga Neji was expressing concern over Sasuke's motives where she—Tenten—was concerned. Cue the fucking apocalypse!

Still his voice had been casual, his expression bleak. So perhaps she was reading too much into his statement.

Tenten heaved a long and sorrowful sigh, "It's nothing Hyuuga," she assured him; her efforts geared towards letting him know that she was available. Though, coming from _Sasuke's _mouth Neji must've interpreted it differently.

"Alright," he declared, rolling his own shoulder. "She's outside," Neji informed her, indicating that Tenten was to follow him.

Without hesitation she complied with the request.

"Why is he—why is she outside?" the veins on her neck stood pronounced from the strain it took to get her voice above the music for Neji to hear her.

They fought their way through the sea of people on the dance floor, bumping into both familiar and unfamiliar faces. Bodies moved against each other, the friction of denim against denim—of skin against skin sparked some sort of sexually charged energy that the entire pub seemed to run on.

The stench of alcohol, sweat and raging hormones was an unpleasant combination that had Tenten scrunching up her nose. It lay sickeningly heavy in the air, seemingly diffusing from the bodies of gyrating teens.

From the corner of her eyes she caught a flash of gold and pink, it strengthened her momentum and she picked up pace, gruffly shoving people out of her way. She was definitely not in the mood to deal with Sakura and Ino tonight. Escaping molestation by the skin of her teeth had made Tenten extremely cautious of Sasuke's fangirls.

"Invites only," Neji finally answered once they were outside the pub. He drew in a long breath, savouring the fresh night air. "You want to explain why you were locked in that storage room with Karin?"

A tinge of pink coloured her pale cheeks and she scratched the back of her head self-consciously. "It was the dobe's idea of a practical joke," she brushed it off, gazing at the starry skies. "Where's Tenten?"

Neji made a thoughtful sound. "She was here not too long ago." She didn't have to look at him, she felt his eyes on her—piercing her skull with those white laser eyes of his. "Uchiha, what did you do to tick her off?" he elevated a dark brow, and sought to keep a loose lock of his chestnut satin hair from latching itself between his lips.

There was a gentle night breeze. It rustled and stirred the charred paper and plastic contents piled up in a nearby curb. Thin fumes of smoke were being emitted from the heap, an indication that it had been set alight earlier.

The pub was located in a wide, asphalted alley. The bricks that climbed three stories up on either sides of the lane were aged but hid well beneath layers of graffiti. Old, rusty iron staircases that served as fire escapes and leaking pipes clung to the buildings as if in danger of falling victim to gravity.

It was the kind of scenery one would expect a thug or gang to lurk in, waiting for the right moment to pounce. But it was one of the most popular hotspots and such activities rarely ever occurred.

Water glistened in the moon light on the ground beneath them. Laundry that were left to hang by the windows upstairs casted shadows below. It was quiet, safe for a few mice that scurried behind trash cans, rattling tins and the murmur coming from the queue of waiting people outside the heavy metal door.

The bouncer was an austere looking, big guy with a mustache. "No invitation, no entry," his voice was low but effective.

Tenten couldn't imagine Sasuke and the stick up his ass to take lightly to being told that.

"She was very upset," Neji commented.

She mentally face-palmed herself. The night would not end well if Sasuke was pissed at her. Maybe she should have asked for his permission to attend the party. After all, it was his body. He had a right to dictate where and when it should turn up to events.

Who was she kidding? She was her own damn boss. Neither he nor she had conjured up a manual or a list of do's and don'ts so why should she behave as if they had?

"There you are!" A loud feline growl bellowed from behind. The hair on the nape of Tenten's pale neck stood up. "What the fuck were you doing in there?" the voice reached an ear splitting pitch.

Tenten winced, she could almost imagine the look of fury burning golden in those hazel eyes she once called her own. "Before you get upset, I wasn't doing anything," she argued doggedly, thoroughly terrified of giving Sasuke a reason to be vindictive. "Tell him—her, Neji."

The Hyuuga frowned, confusion etched across his porcelain face. He glowered at the elbow she used to nudge him in the gut. "What is going on between you two?" The words rose unbidden.

She realized that Neji was enraged. Dark brows were lowered heavily over brilliant lilac eyes that seemed to glow in his face. His lips were a flat, thin line, his shoulders bunched with tension. Still, he wasn't frightening; he was hot. He should have been frightening. But she was seeing so much emotion on his face, something besides the mocking amusement or cynical look he normally displayed.

The metamorphosis was hypnotizing. Watching anger fall beneath suspicion and jealousy overtake his expression.

He was—jealous.

Neji jealous?

He had no reason to be jealous.

"I called your cell phone a dozen times," Sasuke pointed an accusing finger at her, one hand placed akimbo. His posture was slightly saucy and defiant; evidently he was getting the hang of body language.

If he was back in his own body he wouldn't have been this expressive. He was always such a rigid piece of shit that it was hard to read him. His voice was generally void of emotions and his face was tight mask of paralyzed muscles.

This spur of expression was refreshing but she put it down to the influence of hormones.

Tenten raised her arms in a gesture of surrender, "How was I suppose to hear it above the music?"

OoOoOoOo

Apprehensive silver eyes drifted between the growling duo. Neji couldn't understand what business Tenten had concerning herself with Sasuke's whereabouts nor why the Uchiha should look like a child who had sourly been told off for being bad.

What was going on? He wondered with a staggering mix of reactions to the underwritten threat of what he sensed could be going on between the two.

"Are you two involved?" the words left his mouth in a stunned rush before he could do anything to stave their flow. They hovered in mid-air before crashing down into the stony silence that settled amongst them.

Tenten was the first to react; her voice was hard enough to break glass. It shattered the silence with its heightened timbre. "Neji you know me better than that, she isn't my type!" she expelled testily.

Sasuke shot her a poisonous glare, "I'd rather eat my own head than have you as my boyfriend," his drawl was biting, his black eyes like ice.

Neji blinked in confusion. His head pounded like a heartbeat, weariness closing in. Maybe that shot he took was finally beginning to take effect. His features contorted, certain he hadn't heard either of them right. They were making use of all the wrong nouns and pronouns.

"Look, I don't know what the hell is going on but I'm getting out of here," he told them, reaching into his pockets for his car keys.

"I thought Sasuke drove tonight," Tenten was saying to him, but her eyes were fastened in question at the raven haired boy, as if conveying a secret message.

"Oh..." the raven-haired boy's voice trailed, he uncharacteristically drew out the sound of single syllable. "Right, Itachi decided not to loan me the car," he explained, having decoded what was being transferred telepathically—_it seemed_—to him.

If Neji's frown deepened anymore, he swore his brows would permanently merge.

Sasuke was explaining himself to Tenten? What for? He couldn't stand a bone in the brunette. And how did she know about Sasuke's initial plans to borrow the car from Itachi? Sasuke wasn't the type to disclose his plans to anyone, especially not someone he despised with a passion.

"Then how will I get home?" Tenten demanded, narrowing her brown eyes disdainfully.

Neji's head snapped in her direction. She was clenching and unclenching her jaws in irritation. He found it rather strange since it was a habit of Sasuke's. Had they been spending that much time together for her to have adopted his brooding mannerisms?

"The same way you got here," Sasuke told her bluntly, folding his arms and turning up his nose.

That was Tenten's signature way of letting someone know she had mentally cut them out of existence.

Neji knew them both like the back of his palms, which was why they seemed awfully out of character.

He cleared his throat, "Come on, I'll drop you both," he suggested and stalked off in the direction of the car park across the street from the alley. "Uchiha, I suggest you drive. I may have drunk a little."

OoOoOoOo

As soon as Neji was out of earshot, Sasuke grabbed Tenten's wrist and pinned her with a pained look. "I have a situation," He tensed; the tanned cheeks formerly owned by Tenten were chalk-pale with mortification. "I think I—" Either an enormous lump formed in his throat or he was having difficulty saying what he wanted to say.

"What is it?" she breathed with a ragged edge to Sasuke's deep voice—her deep voice, and surveyed her former self. "Why are you clutching your stomach?"

In an agony of pain Sasuke spoke. "I think I broke your—," he struggled to find the right words to refer to THAT part of her anatomy. His stomach knotted sickly. "—your flower. It's bleeding. But I swear I wasn't probing it with my fingers," he added in his defense, with only the slightest tremor in his voice, brown eyes lowering.

Broke your flower?

The words resonated in her head.

Alarm bells went off madly.

Tenten's black orbs burned amber like a coal pit set aflame. "What do you mean by you broke my flower?" she demanded, her voice lancing with contempt. There were a number of things he could be referring to and none of them was pardonable.

A dull flush of colour darkened his smooth cheekbones and fell silent. The face he'd stolen might have been carved from marble. Not a muscle moved on.

"What have you been doing to my body Uchiha?" Tenten asked with a savage look in her dark eyes as they rested on Sasuke's delicate profile, studying his sudden pallor.

He swallowed visibly, a bead of sweat trickled down his hairline. "I haven't done anything."

She cleared her throat and asked a question that nibbled anxiously at the back of her mind "What date is today?"

Chocolate eyes studied her with unhidden impatience before full pink lips parted to grumble his response.

Tenten laughed with a raw spontaneity that shook the Uchiha and threw him a look of infuriated bemusement. "At least I know you hadn't stuck any foreign object—"

Neji's car horn blew.

She suddenly grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction of the waiting vehicle. "I think a trip to the convenient store is in order," she declared, a vibrantly amused smile curved her mouth. "Congratulations Sasuke, you've just had your first period."

**Chapter Five Preview**

"What are you doing?" Neji heard Tenten's voice choking from inside the bathroom stall.

"Hold still and spread your legs so I can insert it properly."

The sound of that voice halted the Hyuuga in his tracks. That dark drawl cut into him like a razor. He shuddered. What was Uchiha doing in there? Most importantly, what was he doing to Tenten?

"Are you sure it's supposed to feel like this?" she gasped incredulously.

"If you keep fidgeting, it'll fit awkwardly," he heard Sasuke respond, ignoring the enquiry with supreme cool.

Neji's body shivered with a sudden rush of raw aggression that came from fathoms deep down inside him. Something festered in him like a cancer, eating away until it consumed every other emotion.

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><p><strong>AN: ****I had no idea people still read this story or was even waiting for an update. Either way, I apologize for the neglect. I get easily disinterested and discouraged, usually from unpleasant reviews or just reading other works that completely make my stuff look like amateur garbage. All my stories are stupid and shitty but this one in particular...!**

**Regardless, I read the latest reviews on this and was plagued by guilt so I just typed this up on my phone. Whoever you are, I am sorry for the overdue update. I'm not even sure if this chapter was worth it. But there you have it.**

**Since I can't actually delete my fanfiction account **_**(much to my annoyance, I've been contemplating quitting this site as of late)**_** there may be updates to this if I get Reviews.**

**Please request an eventual pair: NejiTen or SasuTen (The decision is yours to make)**


	5. What A Bloody Mess!

**The Switch**

**Chapter Five – What a Bloody Mess!**

**A/N: I never anticipated the kind of response to this story that it has gotten lately. I'm mind-blown and glad you are all enjoying it. I appreciate all the reads, follows, favourites and reviews. Thank you so much. Remember that whether this ends up as NejiTen or SasuTen depends on you. So do tell me which you prefer, I'm down for whichever.**

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><p>A canopy of luminous stars flickered into and out of existence amongst the ocean of blackness above. The faint brush of the wind against a puddle of water on the ground sent ripples that ruffled the stillness of the surface, and shattered the reflection of the moon. If that wasn't enough to distort the mirroring assemblage of the glittering skies and lunar luminescence, then the foot that stepped into the pool would.<p>

The splash that resulted from the contact was accentuated by a feline growl and a sibilant expletive.

Annoyance had a two-fisted grip around Sasuke's slender neck. "Stop pulling my arm, damn it."

Tenten halted in her tracks and looked over her broad shoulders at the vessel that had been stolen from her, "It's not my fault you're fucking clumsy."

He bit out another curse and tried to free himself of the death grip his fragile bones were closed under. It was an attempt in vain.

"It's not my fault your body has two left feet," he tilted his chin upward but he was barely clinging to his composure.

A moment of agonizing cramp saw him closing his eyes. It seemed to only heighten his awareness of the feel that his stomach walls were collapsing into each other.

"These things should come with a manual," he commented dryly, idly kicking out a foot.

The one-time brunette crushed his wrist beneath her fingers and smirked as he winced. "Watch your mouth Uchiha. I have the upper hand when it comes to strength remember?" her lips curved in a faintly contemptuous smile. "And I have absolutely no problem knocking you down a peg should the situation call for—" Tenten stopped abruptly, taken aback by the starkness of her former features.

A flash of pain entered the brown eyes and an uneasy feeling crept up her spine as Sasuke glared back at her. The first two days of her cycle were usually the worst in terms of the heaviness of flow and level of discomfort. It was sometimes so severe she had to skip school. A part of her relished the idea of seeing the impassive little shit doubling over in agony, but the other part—the recessive part—sympathized with him.

"Are you having cramps?" she was certain the all too triumphantly mocking expression which seemed permanently etched into her new face was very much in place.

Sasuke's belly clenched, and the cramping feeling was strong enough now to make his forehead bead with sweat. He shifted uncomfortably. "Should I?" he asked tartly. His voice was low however, and it barely managed to hide the tremble.

An icy silence stretched long into the semi-darkness.

Tenten rolled her eyes and stared back at Neji's awaiting Jeep. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about," she tilted her head to one side. "It's a part of life."

"A part of life?" he echoed, his voice shaking in repulsion.

She didn't need to look at him to know that his tiny hands were balled into fists at his side and that he was probably fighting the urge to strangle her. She swallowed deeply, wondering what she could've done to piss off the universe so badly for this to happen to her. Of all the assholes to fall into such a situation with, it just had to be the one with the longest stick up his behind.

Tenten dragged a rough hand down her face, cringing at the amount of friction the gesture caused along the smooth skin. Why couldn't she have swapped bodies with Neji? They had an amicable enough relationship. She could actually stand him. In fact she liked him. A lot. Perhaps too much, she thought to herself. It would probably have taken an unusual amount of self-restraint to keep her hands to herself had she woken up as Hyuuga Neji.

Everything about Sasuke's body had looked so foreboding that she blenched from merely running her palms openly over his chest to apply body wash. She had felt completely intimidated by the rugged contrast between his hardness and the softness of her old body while her hands travelled each muscled ridge. But damn, from the view she got of Neji back in the locker room, he was quite the opposite. Everything about him looked tempting—promising—inviting.

She licked over suddenly dry lips and swayed precariously because oh, Lord, was he mouthwateringly gorgeous.

"You're disgusting," Sasuke hissed.

Tenten was pulled out of thought—mentally kicking and screaming in protest. She turned to glare at him. "I'm not the one who's bleeding like a sieve," she countered venomously.

He angled his gleaming brown head high and surveyed her with innate superiority and unhidden contempt. "I wasn't talking about that," he pointed out lazily. "You always get that pedophilic look on your face when you think of Hyuuga," he volunteered smoothly, seemingly unaware of the gross offence Tenten would take from his remark.

She reeled at how well he could read her despite their lack of closeness and suspected that she could probably read him equally as expertly. After all you kept your friends close and your enemies closer.

Tenten turned crimson and then white in speedy succession as her loathing for him was magnified into a murderous heat. The emotion was so intense, it literally frightened her.

"It's disgusting," Sasuke snarled. "You're a pathetic little stalker."

Her teeth sank into the soft underside of her lower lip and she tasted the sweet tang of _**his**_ blood. Still she was so appalled by his ill-advised estimation of her character that she said nothing.

"Unhand me!" he was shivering as though he were caught in a force-ten gale. Outright fury controlled him as Tenten retained that bruising hold on his wrist and dragged him towards Neji's car.

"Fold your sweater and sit on it so you don't soil the car seat," she suggested.

Sasuke's pretty little face twisted with a grimace. Internally he was shrieking and squirming at how casually she said it. He wasn't fucking used to leaking like a tap.

The Hyuuga was perched in the front passenger seat when they finally caught up. "Uchiha you're driving," he tossed Tenten the keys. "We may have to stop at the gas sta—" he peered intently with veiled eyes at their connected hands. "—tion. Are you trying to break her wrist?"

Incredulous white eyes locked into black ones and lingered. Tenten moistened her dry lips and simply stared wide-eyed at him.

Sasuke felt a little unnerved by how accusingly Neji's silver eyes were stabbing into his ex pair of onyx ones.

With as much strength as his puny body could offer he stomped on her toes and yanked his hand free as soon as he felt the slightest loosening of her iron grip.

His friend was probably assuming the worst, Sasuke thought as his stomach filled with nausea. A pin-dropping silence stretched. Neji's unnatural stillness, the dark rise of blood to his carved cheekbones and his stunned silence confirmed that he was.

Tenten was transfixed to the spot like a star-struck dummy.

Sasuke cleared his throat, "We need to stop by the convenient store any way," he shrugged.

Without warning, Neji swung back to him, glittering pearly eyes shooting over him, the faintest crease drawing his ebony brows together. It was an intimidating glower of expectancy. He looked really shaken up. Shorn of his usual sardonic aura, he was forbiddingly serious. Sasuke had a hunch he was silently inquiring about his and Tenten's eeriness rather than why he wanted to stop by the convenient store.

"Get in," he instructed tersely before his dark-tinted windows rolled up.

Seemingly galvanized into motion by panic, Tenten grasped his arm again.

Sasuke turned to her irritably, "Quit putting my hands on you! You're giving Hyuuga the wrong ideas."

Giving Neji the wrong ideas? That just might spur some sort of reaction out of the Hyuuga. If he thought something was going on between herself and Sasuke then maybe—

Tenten could feel a blush slowly colouring up her pale skin, starting at her dry throat and moving up in an unstoppable tide. She wasn't even aware that Sasuke's face was capable of flushing. "It's my body, I can put these hands wherever I feel like putting them," she told him tightly.

—of course such a plan could backfire on her, a doubtful little voice reasoned in her head.

"Well those are my hands and I don't want them all over your curve-less, little body," he breathed thickly.

Curve-less? Tenten puffed out an enraged breath.

The hatred came, borne on a seething tidal wave of bitterness. "Fuck you," she threw the keys at him and relinquished her hold.

He caught it before it could hit him in the face. "Why are you giving me this?"

"I can't drive," she confided reluctantly, hating herself for giving him another reason to belittle her.

Sasuke thought best not to question it, "I suppose a handicap can't get a driver's license," he muttered under his breath and stalked to the other side of the vehicle.

Once they were both secured against Neji's sleek leather seats, Sasuke stuck the keys in the indignation. The dark car was suddenly filled with the glow of neon lights that came alive from the navigation system and the likes. The monotonous hum of the engine and the sound of the air conditioning unit chorused.

A faint draught of exhaust, worn rubber and petrol stole through the air vents. He heard the deep breath Tenten took and saw the glances she stole at Neji when he looked in the mirror.

Sasuke scoffed.

Why was she so taken with Hyuuga anyway? It wasn't like there weren't other good-looking guys at their school, he brooded to himself. And it wasn't like she actually in had a shot with Neji either. They were in completely different leagues. The social hierarchy of their school was so rigid that a person simply could not climb more than one level when it came to a dating partner. It was against the balance of things to skim down more than a level as well. To be frank, quite a few levels separated Neji from Tenten.

It was futile.

"Seems to me something's off with the AC unit," Sasuke said, shifting the gear stick to put the Jeep in reverse. "I would have it checked out," he advised, studying the screen before him. It gave footage of the vehicle's rear.

"Tenten what are you doing?" a certain coolness entered Neji's voice as he regarded him. "Since when did you learn to drive?"

Sasuke's knuckles grew white from gripping the steering wheel. How did Neji know that the twit couldn't operate an automobile? He himself had no clue and chided himself for not realizing the defect sooner. It would have given him something else to chastise little miss know-it-all for.

"I taught her," Sasuke heard his deep baritone answered from behind.

Neji's neck snapped so suddenly in its direction that Sasuke could have sworn he heard it make a sound akin to that of bones being relieved of a crick.

"You Uchiha?" the two words were lanced with disbelief.

He picked up immediately on what Tenten was trying to do. She was using their plight as a medium through which to get closer to Neji. It was low. But what was even lower was that she thought she could used their newfound bond—Sasuke shuddered at the word—as a avenue to drive Neji down the path of jealousy.

Why would he get jealous over a forged affinity between the two of them? Tenten wasn't his type. Or was she? Neji knew an awful lot about her. It was cause enough for concern.

Sasuke couldn't help but wonder if she had been dropping hints that she was crushing on him. The last thing he needed was having to fend off advances from his best friend. Neji wouldn't know that _Tenten _wasn't really Tenten.

The image of his former self coaxing Neji into a date with his new self came too easily. He could see him being easily persuaded as well. The Hyuuga trusted _Sasuke's _judgment above all—all except that immature little shrew.

"So you're both friends again?" Neji asked and Sasuke found that he didn't like the emphasis he had placed on the word 'friends' like he was attempting to quantify their relationship. He sounded a little too hopeful too.

Why should he care?

"We're not," Sasuke assured him sharply. "I just thought that since _Sasuke-kun _was such a good driver, I'd ask him." He couldn't resist the urge to gloat but the taste of Sasuke-kun was an abomination to his taste-buds. It sounded so foreign coming out of his _(Tenten's) _mouth. It was even stranger to conjure up the word in his own mind.

"Sasuke-kun?" Neji thought aloud. Since when was he not Uchiha to Tenten? He slapped a hand over his left eye to stop it from twitching.

Sasuke felt Tenten's charcoal eyes on him and smirked. If she thought she was going to take advantage of being in his body then she had it coming. He'd make her look like his biggest fangirl if she tried anything fishy.

He was prepared to even swoon.

"She's a fast learner," Tenten said with an odd tinge of pride Sasuke had never used in his voice before. "I can see why you speak so highly of her," she said to Neji who actually flushed.

The damn girl had picked up on his game and was using him to boast about her, Sasuke realized. "Enough with the praises—" he managed to force out through gritted teeth and added sourly, "—Sasuke-kun."

OoOoOoOo

Neji sat there thinking he had been transported to another dimension and hating every minute it. As much as the enmity between Sasuke and Tenten placed a strain on him, he appreciated its existence. It at least assured him that there was no one who could give him a run for his money where winning the brunette's affection was concerned. Sasuke was his only formidable opponent when it came to the ladies and since he obviously despised Tenten then it meant there was no challenge in it for Neji.

That was what he believed up until this date.

They were snarling compliments each other's way and acting strangely. Their intertwined hands had blasted his growing suspicions to the skies. Something was definitely going on and Neji refused to go down without a fight. His personal feelings aside, he would not allow Uchiha to waltz in and sweep Tenten off her feet.

He had a habit of leaving a trail of broken hearts in his paths and Neji couldn't allow her to suffer such an emotional demise. He didn't care if she returned Sasuke's hypothesized feelings or that the said boy was his friend. The fact of the matter was that Sasuke was a player and Tenten wasn't just any ordinary girl.

She was—would be his girl.

The car was brought to a screeching halt before an empty pump at a gas station. _Tenten _unfastened her seat belt and threw the door open with unnecessary force. _Sasuke _must've said something to piss her off, Neji thought. He was snickering in the back seat.

"I guess you haven't quite landed the parking," he jeered.

Tenten's expressive face was pink with embarrassment, annoyance and something else, Neji noted. The bright light from overhead made every little flex of muscle on her face visible.

"Maybe if I wasn't such a knuckle-head—" she derided with self-mocking contempt. "—then I would be able to park like my brain cells weren't superglued to each other."

Neji was convinced his own brain cells weren't functioning like they ought to either. Tenten had moved from bragging about Sasuke to berating herself. What the hell was going on? While she was never arrogant she exerted the kind of self-assurance that he admired in his female counterparts.

"Perhaps if I was a better teacher—" _Sasuke _chided himself half an octave higher. "—you would be able to park a car without jerking it forward like its being fucked in the rear."

It was so unnatural to hear Sasuke's voice rise above its usual low rumble. Neji shook his head, certain he hadn't drank enough to be this stoned. Haughty Uchiha Sasuke was scolding himself?

"Uchiha are you coming?" _Tenten _asked, tapping her feet impatiently.

_Sasuke _folded his arms and turned up his nose in that Tenten-like gesture once more. Neji pressed a hand to his temples as if to rid his head of dizziness. What the hell was up with those two?

"Get the one in the green package," the deep voice drawled with apparent calm. "That's the one I like; they fit properly."

For a split-second, Neji collided with splintering golden-flecked black eyes. A dark line of blood rose over his high cheekbones and his mouth flattened into a pale line. His eyes widened. Lots of things came in green packages and had to be fitted; things like condoms. He swallowed painfully, trying to pilot his mind elsewhere.

Nausea rose like giant waves in his stomach and he straightened his back against his seat.

They could be talking about gloves, he rationalized hectically. Tenten was into archery, for precautionary measures it was advised that they wore gloves while handling the bow and arrows.

Gloves, he reiterated. This was Tenten he was talking about. She hadn't a single loose screw upstairs and a girl would need to have quite a few loose screws to get tangled up with Uchiha. So they had to be talking about gloves.

Wait. Why would Uchiha need gloves? He avoided Archery Club to avoid Tenten, Neji reminded himself.

Did gloves even come in packages? Why would Tenten be purchasing gloves for Sasuke anyway?

"Should I be looking out for any specific size or material?" she asked with somewhat of a mocking bite.

"What do you mean by that?"_ Sasuke _intoned in a growl of terrifying threat, a ferocious anger simmering in his intent gaze and hardened face.

"Large and latex perhaps?" _she_ shot at him with raw venom.

Neji didn't like the knowing little smirk that curled _Tenten's_ lips on the word 'large'.

Large and latex?

So they were buying gloves after all, he breathed a discreet sigh of relief.

"Are you questioning my size?" _Sasuke_ demanded, springing upright with the restive energy of a prowling tiger.

A bubble of hysteria crept up Neji's throat but he kept his mouth shut to keep it trapped. His stomach churned sickly and went white as a sheet on the Uchiha's assumption.

Latex gloves weren't used in archery.

But large and latex condoms were used in—

"For your information," _Sasuke _said to _Tenten_ with a stark flash of grinding white teeth. "They don't come in latex."

"Well I wouldn't know," Neji watched _Tenten_ as she struggled against the most infuriating discomfiture when _she _met _Sasuke's_ eyes. "This is the first time I've—" _she_ fell tightlipped and silent.

"What the fuck?" Neji, who never ever swore, found the word flying off his tongue. A stricken sense of horror had attacked him. It was destroying him, his expression wretched.

Sasuke was going to—he was going to—sweet, innocent Tenten. Neji tried to shut down his thoughts. His mouth thinned. Stunned and still trying to absorb what he was hearing, he tried to play indifferent.

He winced and looked down at his hands, they were clenched into tight fists on his knees.

Anger had ceased to dominate his expression. His eyes had fired with murderous intent. His lips had parted over his teeth as his breath hissed in and out in short, hot bursts. Sasuke was inches away from him. He only had to launch himself in the backseat, Neji imagined, and crack his fist across his face.

The pump attendant came before he could convince himself to do so.

_Sasuke_ unleashed a wolfish smile, "We'll return shortly Neji," he opened the door and dismounted the jeep. "I suppose you've never bought these before," his fingers reached and found _Tenten's_, clasping them in a tight grip. "Come on, the next time you're on your own," _he_ assured _her_ loftily and was pleased when_ she_ flushed.

_Tenten's_ brown eyes narrowed. "I'm buying enough to last. Do they come in jumbo packs?" _she_ asked hesitantly—shyly.

"Looking forward to the next time already?" _he_ taunted.

_Her_ face bleached of colour.

Enough to last? Looking forward to the next time?

Neji felt chills icing his spine. The thought of Tenten exposing her body to Sasuke's lecherous stare almost made him throw up. But pride stopped him from calling out after them, that and the pump attendant.

"Good evening sir," she beamed.

There was nothing good about the evening.

OoOoOoOo

Sleek, automatic, glass doors slid smoothly opened as Tenten and Sasuke entered the convenient store. The one-time brunette led them down an aisle Sasuke had never ventured down before. The shelves were stuffed with pulsating throng of vibrantly coloured boxes and plastic confinements. They stopped before a peculiar line of chartreuse packages with the silhouette of a curvy woman imprinted of each one of them.

"Do you prefer tampons or sanitary napkins?" she asked, holding two of the alien items out for him to choose. Her breath rattled in her throat. If she laughed, she was almost certain she would end up rolling on the floor. Her black eyes never left his tense face though. There was pure loathing in his chocolate eyes.

Very much taken aback, Sasuke surveyed her in an outrage and snatched them both from her. "Give me those, I can't be seen handling feminine products," he hurled arrogantly and pressed his fingers against the plastic packages trying to access what was inside of them. They were soft and almost sponge like, probably cotton, he deduced.

"Easy on the enthusiasm," Tenten snorted, thoroughly amused and making the most out of the situation.

"Which do you use?" he asked stonily, swallowing down the huge lump of humiliation that was sitting like a leaden weight in his throat. Tenten would make certain he never lived down this moment.

It was a struggle to keep a straight face. "Sanitary napkins," she snickered her response and grinned rather nastily with suggestive little chuckle that made him flinch.

Sasuke studied her in silence.

"I'll take the tampons," he declared with a sudden harsh suspicion. He didn't like the triumphant tilt of Tenten's mouth. She was the type of person to deceive him into an untenable situation. A sanitary napkin might just be the most uncomfortable thing ever, he thought to himself. He didn't trust her. "I'll take the tampons," he repeated, just in case she thought she could get him to reconsider.

His mind was made up.

But how exactly did either of those things work? Like a bottle stopper?

"Tampon it is," she said with a smirk. "You might want a pack of these too."

Sasuke found a small box being gruffly shoved into his chest. He took her roughness as a show of someone who knew they were caught in their own deception. "What are these?" he asked.

"For the pain," she told him flatly and looked him up and down in a rather insulting way and he couldn't prevent himself from shuddering. "Assuming that you do know how to use those, I'd suggest you went to the bathroom before you stained my shorts. They're expensive."

He looked up at her shyly again, "How would I know how to use these?"

Tenten spitefully left answering Sasuke until after the articles where paid for and he was making his way to the bathroom. She rolled her shoulders nonchalantly, "If you're familiar with how a dick is used then you should be fine with a tampon." Her smile was malevolent.

Sasuke's eyes grew huge with horror. "What do you mean by that?" he asked through compressed lips, a tremor running through him.

"Exactly what I said," Tenten asserted with a little laugh. "If you read the instructions you would have figured that you have to—" She paused, her voice tailing away when it suddenly dawned on her exactly what Sasuke would have to do. At first she found the idea rather comic, Uchiha Sasuke using a tampon.

But she was left traumatized at the thought of him fondling her woman business. What if he got a kick out of it? She grimaced. Repulsion burned her gut like acid applied to a fresh wound.

"Maybe I should have bought sanitary napkins instead," Sasuke gulped, looking up from the package with panicky brown eyes. Female genitalia or not, he was repulsed by the idea of sticking anything up himself.

"Well do you have any more money?" Tenten asked urgently.

His jaw worked as he shook his head. Dismay tore at his pouty mouth. To her surprise, a pang ripped at her chest. "No, do you?"

Her throat closed over. She was trembling, plunged into genuine distress. They were absolutely fucked.

"No," she answered.

Sasuke took a deep breath and dealt her a slashing look of sudden intimidation. "We're not asking Hyuuga for any money," he delivered saucily.

Tenten's eyes blazed and she clenched her fists. "I suppose you think this is an open invitation to feel up my body," the black eyes were like stones.

"You've barely got anything to fit a toddler's hands," Sasuke countered with rich derision, his features set with angry distaste. "And what gave you the impression that I'll willingly handle your mess?" he asked, trying to keep the lid on his temper.

She was disturbingly still, dangerously silent with her stolen night-dark eyes trained intently upon her ex distressed and defensive face. "I've got a solution," she heaved a decisive sigh.

OoOoOoOo

The store bell chimed as a seething Hyuuga Neji entered the store. He had been sitting in his car for the last fifteen minutes, eagerly awaiting Sasuke and Tenten's arrival so he could get to the bottom of things. He pounced about the few aisles but neither one of them was anywhere to be found. The entire store was empty except for the cashier and the security guard that stood by the door.

"_I'm buying enough to last. Do they come in jumbo packs?"_

"_Looking forward to the next time already?"_

Their last words echoed in his head like a shrill in an empty room. A wave of blinding dread zapped through him, leaving him faint. His heart thudding so violently that it seemed it might leap right out of his ribcage.

What had they been referring to?

"_Large and latex perhaps?" _

"_Are you questioning my size?" _

His mind whirled. White-faced, he made his way to the counter, anger mastering the lurching hurt. He was the one who truly had Tenten's best interest at heart. How could she have moved so spontaneously from loathing Uchiha to liking him? It couldn't be mutual, at least not from Sasuke's end.

"Excuse me," Neji said in a harsh and pained whisper.

The freckle faced blonde boy behind the cash register looked up from where he had been counting off a couple notes. His metal-donned smile didn't quite meet his grey eyes. "Can I help you?"

Neji cleared his throat awkwardly, "Have you seen two people come in here, a boy and a brunette?"

The boy chewed obnoxiously on his gum and regarded Neji blankly. His answer came as an unintelligible babble but the Hyuuga caught the word bathroom and would have been on his way hadn't he been stopped.

"We have a policy where only customers are allowed to use—"

Neji picked up a chocolate bar, grudgingly slapped a bill on the counter and stalked off in the direction of the bathroom. It was through a grey door that opened into a small square hall with a door on either side. The smell of jasmine and bleach pervaded the tight space, an indication that the stalls had been recently cleaned.

"Uchiha?" he called upon his entry of the male section.

It was silent, safe for the sound of water dripping from a leaking tap by the porcelain sinks. All the stalls were vacant and the water in each toilet bowl was still, suggesting that none had been flushed for a while.

He was a hairsbreadth away from ringing Sasuke's phone when he heard the rustling of plastic behind the opposite door as he reentered the stuffy hall. Without giving it much of a thought, he pushed the heavy door open and stalked inside. He was determined to confront Tenten once and for all about this nonsense with Uchiha. Maybe she would be able to shed some light—some hope—on their situation.

The sound of ceramic against concrete rose above the whisper of tearing plastic.

"Can you rest your thumb elsewhere?" he heard a muffled whimper. "That little bud there is awfully sensitive."

"I will, once you stop shoving your foot so provocatively against my front," another voice pled. It was deeper and a little familiar but Neji was too preoccupied with his thoughts to give it much thought.

"Why are you so hard?" the first voice shrieked. "You are disgusting."

"It's not my fault your body has very little control—" the bass in that complaint seemed to vibrate the very oxygen atoms. "—or that my foot feels nice," it added almost disdainfully.

Neji propped himself against the wall and waited, blocking out the sounds. His chest felt as if it was sinking. He supposed he ought to be happy if what Sasuke had going on with Tenten was truly genuine. But he couldn't—wouldn't. His stomach heaved again. And was suddenly sick.

Images of them both whirled around him. It continued mercilessly until he choked and made it for the sink. He splashed ice-cold water straight into his face. It was as if the water had dissolved the mental earplug he had stuffed in his ear canal.

"What are you doing?" Neji identified the voice that choked from inside the stall as Tenten's.

"Hold still and spread your legs so I can insert it properly."

His mouth tightened at the sound of that voice. That dark drawl cut into him like a razor. He shuddered. What was Uchiha doing in there? More importantly, what was he doing to Tenten?

"Are you sure it's supposed to feel like this?" she gasped incredulously.

"If you keep fidgeting, it'll fit awkwardly," he heard _Sasuke_ respond, ignoring the enquiry with supreme cool. The vicious bite slashed through Neji's taut nerve-endings like a machete.

"Is it in yet?" _Tenten_ asked with uncertainty.

Neji could hear the loud swallow she took to lubricate her throat.

"Trust me, if it was you would have felt it," _Sasuke_ muttered.

_Tenten_ suddenly hissed.

Neji's body shivered with a sudden rush of raw aggression that came from fathoms deep down inside him. Something festered in him like a cancer, eating away until it consumed every other emotion.

Sasuke and Tenten were—it sounded like they were—

He shook his head, policing his thoughts but his pulse skittered about crazily and all hope plummeted to the very depths. She was lost to him. Hysteria clawed like insanity at his cracking composure.

Before he could stop himself he was inching towards the door behind which the noises were coming from. He paused for a split-second and then he succumbed, suddenly, roughly, like a dam breaking its walls.

Tenten was his. Uchiha had no claim on her.

The door was yanked opened with such force it was a wonder how it remained on its hinges.

Sasuke and Tenten looked up with a gasp.

Neji was welded to the floor with shock at the sight that greeted him.

Tenten was sitting on the tank of the toilet, her thighs bare and parted. Sasuke's hand was positioned at the junction between them and he was—he was—shoving a white finger-like projection that was far too small to be a dildo up—up—

His jaws fell when he saw the bloody mess.

Uchiha had deflowered Tenten—Neji's Tenten—in a public bathroom like a common slu—his mind couldn't summon the word. It was too cheapening to describe her, regardless.

Sasuke's solemn eyes were fixed on his. "Neji I can explain."

Sickly he shook his head. His nerves scattered into pitiful shreds. "I don't think you can."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm leaving it there because this chapter's far too long. Again, my idea of humour is severely fucked; I apologize for boring or offending anyone. Please drop me a feedback if you actually think this is worth continuing, I have my doubts. I don't like this fic very much. Sigh. Don't forget to comment NejiTen or SasuTen for the eventual pairing you would like. No Preview this time, let your imaginations run wild :) Reviews are very much appreciated.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Check out Aquarius Galuxy's 'Right, Wrong and What Falls Betweens' NejiTen one-shot collection for a hilarious crack spin off to this story. Its chapter 25 but the entire collection is worth the read. Its absolutely amazing.**


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